As a couple, there is nothing more precious than sharing in the birth of a baby. I’ll never forget the moment when my husband held our daughter for first time, with tears coursing down his face and palpable joy in his eyes. He actually spent the entire first night snuggling with her in the rocking chair so I could catch some sleep. What a man!
But after that first night I took over all baby-care duties. After all, I was the mom and that was my job, right? Wrong! After a few days, my husband sat me down and informed me that he not only missed his daughter, but his wife, too! I had disappeared into a fog of burp cloths and diapers.
Now I’ve learned that it’s important for both me and the baby to include her daddy in her care. He couldn’t feed her since I nursed her for the first year, but there were lots of other tasks he could help with.
- At least one night a week, let dad handle nighttime diaper duty. He can get up with the baby and change her diaper and then either bring her to mom for nursing or prepare her bottle and feed her.
- Make sure that dad is getting alone time with the baby every day. Does mom need a shower? A nap? Maybe she wants to cook a nice meal or write in baby’s journal – or her own. Giving dad special time with the baby not only helps to solidify their emotional bond, but it can also give mom the daily break that can literally be the difference between being a grounded, well-rested mother and wife or being an emotional wreck who is giving so much that she becomes overwhelmed and erratic.
- Find something that dad loves to do and give him “expert” status. aybe dad’s great at swaddling the baby or giving her a tearless bath or taming the evening crying sessions. He’ll find pride and joy in doing “his” task for the baby. My husband found this special way of bouncing our baby that sent her to sleep every single time. He was proud of his ability to calm her and I called on it every day.
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