So you’ve taken the plunge and invited a group of moms over to your house for a playdate. Maybe a circle of you has even decided to set up a weekly playgroup with a rotating hosting schedule. And today is your day to open your home to strangers! Are you nervous?
Don’t be! If you have invited new moms over, they will be just as nervous and unsure about playdates as you are. And if you have invited more experienced moms over, well, they will remember what their first playdates were like and not judge you or that pile of clean but unfolded laundry on the sofa.
You might think that babies are too young to benefit from playdates. Nope. First of all, at this age playdates are more for the moms anyway, to help you guys take time to sit down, relax, share your recent experiences, and act as a resource for each other as you navigate the waters of parenting together. Second of all, kids of any age benefit from being around each other.
Sure, it will be at least a couple of years before your kids start to parallel play next to each other, let alone begin playing with each other in group play situations. But you will notice almost right away your baby watching the other babies and learning from things they do.
As your baby and the other kids get better control of their hands and become more mobile and able to snatch toys from each other, they will start to learn valuable lessons about sharing and taking turns, helping them take their first steps toward becoming socialized. Whenever the first day of preschool rolls around, they will already have a wealth of experience with how to get along with other kids.
But back to you. Are you expected to serve snacks? Lunch? Souvenirs? Is your home ready for an influx of mommies and babies?
Every playgroup is different, and it will take a couple of rotations for you guys to figure out exactly what works for you, foodwise. When my playgroup first started, we catered full-on lunches for each other ranging from take-out Italian food to sandwich platters and salads. It wasn’t so much that we were trying to impress each other as that a.) we just didn’t know what was expected and apparently all decided to err on the side of abundance, and b.) it actually was kind of nice to sit back and enjoy a nice lunch once a week that the majority of us didn’t have to raise a finger to get.
Then the babies turned into toddlers who messily devoured everything in sight. Let’s just say that croissants that burst into thousands of buttery flakes at the slightest clench of a child’s fingers are probably not the best snack to serve to playgroup. Plus we changed our meeting time from lunchtime to earlier in the morning to accommodate kids that were dropping their morning naps but needed desperately to get home in plenty of time to take their afternoon ones. So, we scaled back our refreshment offerings first to a light breakfast (i.e., pretty much just donuts), and eventually just to tossing snack bags to the kids like zookeepers chucking fish at seals.
This is an extreme case. The most you should ever feel you have to provide at a playdate or playgroup is water for breastfeeding mothers, and maybe a light snack tray of vegetables, fruit, crackers and cheese. Maybe. Really, don’t even feel you have to provide that much.
As for preparing your home for visitors, don’t feel it has to look like something out of Better Homes & Gardens. Pick one room that has an open area in the middle where babies can hang out on their blankets or playmates. Run the vacuum over the floor quickly to suck up any small debris that older babies might pincer grip into their mouths. Stuff any random clutter in a basket or bag and stick it in a closet for later. Make sure the path from the door to the play area and from the play area to the bathroom is clear of any embarrassing messes. If you are worried about kitchen clutter, fill the sink with dishwashing suds and dump all your dishes in it to “soak.”
Pack away any of your baby’s toys that you don’t want turned into communal teethers, and put out a few toys that babies can play with safely together. Have some extra clean blankets or mats on hand in case anyone wants to borrow one.
And that’s pretty much it! Just sit back and enjoy yourself and think about the fact that you won’t have to host again for three, four, five, or however many more weeks!
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