A lot of time and money are spent preparing for the arrival of your new baby. Then, all of the sudden, the little punkin is here and you realize – Mom sure could use a few things too! I was very lucky to have girlfriends who realized this in the days following the births of my kids. So, here are a few things to consider giving to the new moms in your life (or to think about asking for yourself!):
1. A real meal in the hospital – My husband, for some completely twisted and bizarre reason, LOVES hospital food. After our first two babies were born, he regularly ate his meals (I think most hospitals provide at least one meal a day for Dad) as well as mine. I’m not a big fan of hospital cuisine. So, when our friends called the hospital room after the baby was born and asked if they could bring us dinner from a restaurant, I immediately accepted. It was absolutely wonderful to have real, non-institutional food for at least one meal a day. It remains one of the most thoughtful gifts we’ve received.
2. Dinners at home – Are you starting to realize my obsession with food here? Another fantastic and thoughtful gift we received after each birth was pre-made dinner at home. For years, people have been cooking and taking food to friends and family in times of need. Well ladies, having a baby is a time of need! Brand new moms are exhausted. The ability to take a casserole out of the fridge or the freezer and just heat it up for dinner? It’s a wonderful thing. You need the nutrition for you and for your baby – and if your partner is anything like mine, microwaved hot dogs aren’t gonna cut it. A homemade lasagna with salad and bread made by your neighbor or best friend? Perfect.
3. Babysitting – Believe me when I say that you need a little time to yourself! Even a trip to Target alone can feel like a treat. An evening out with your partner is even better. So, when someone offers to babysit, ACCEPT! If you’re the one offering the babysitting, don’t be vague about your offer – “If ever need me to come watch the baby, just let me know…” New moms are notorious for self-imposed guilt – don’t want to leave the baby, don’t want to hassle anyone else, blah, blah, blah. What you need to say is “I know you probably could use a few hours to run some errands and I’m free every afternoon this week, so why don’t you let me watch the baby so that you can go to the grocery store/doctor’s office/DMV/mall?”
4. Personalized “mom jewelry” – This one isn’t quite as practical as the first three suggestions. But after you’ve had this little miracle, you’re just bursting with pride and love for her. There are so many great “mom” necklaces, bracelets and rings, in every style imaginable. There are traditional (and not-so-traditional) birthstone pendants and rings. There are the ever popular baby name bracelets. Charm bracelets with personalized charms or baby-themed charms are darling and available in almost every price range. My husband gave me a long silver chain with four pendants – each engraved with one of our children’s names. I call them my “mom dogtags” and I absolutely love them.
5. Spa gift certificate – This one is pretty self-explanatory. Moms need to be pampered a little, especially when they are worn-out from that whole “not sleeping for four months” thing. Try to offer some babysitting with this one if you can. Pedicures with crying babies aren’t very relaxing.
6. Personalized thank you notes – I got the cutest stationery, personalized with my babies’ names from a friend. I loved using them as thank you cards for all the thoughtful gifts everyone brought after the baby’s birth. These are available all over the internet, often for very reasonable prices.
7. Nursing pajamas/loungewear – Chances are good that you’ll need a while to recover from childbirth. And you probably won’t leave the house as much as you used to, at least for a while. It’s great to have really comfy clothes – think yoga pants and soft knits. Easy breastfeeding access is also a great idea because that cute little guy you brought home from the hospital is going to want to eat every two to three hours. All day. All night.
8. Cute sweats – Eventually, you’re gonna have to leave house. Really! And you probably won’t fit back into your jeans yet. Really. Although everyone will be looking at your baby when you do get out and about, you’ll feel as if everyone is looking at you. Bloated, tired you. A pair of really great sweats or yoga pants will be great for all of those errands you need to run in the weeks after the baby arrives.
9. Photo sitting – No one ever did this for me, but I think it’s a great idea! A gift certificate for baby’s first photos (other than those weird splotchy one they take at the hospital) could be a great incentive for new mom to get that appointment set, get those pictures taken and mail out the baby announcements.
10. Target or WalMart gift cards – Diapers, diapers, diapers. Formula, wipes and baby socks. Enough said.
11. Housecleaning – Just as making dinner can seem like an insurmountable task during those first few months, housecleaning can be overwhelming. Having a friend, relative or in-law just do the dishes can be the most wonderful thing in the world. A day of housecleaning or even a gift certificate for a one-time cleaning by a service can relieve a lot of stress in the life of a brand new mom.
Looking back over the list, I realize that it can be summarized like this: gifts for new moms should either make her life less stressful or make her feel pretty or provide her with diapers. That about sums it up! The best gift of all though is for a new mom to have loving, supportive family and friends around her and her new baby as they get to know each other.
Some folks can’t imagine that there’s be a controversy about having a second baby shower, while others are shocked that anyone would consider it. Why the disparity between the two camps? It may be a clash of old fashioned values versus modern ideas. In most cases you shouldn’t feel pressured to change your plans because of what other people might think, but because a simple disagreement in etiquette can quickly turn into something much larger when pregnancy hormones are involved, it’s a good idea to familiarize yourself with both sides of the issue before the invitations are in the mail.
