Whether you’re expecting your first child or your fifth, a baby shower can be one of the most exciting times of your pregnancy. After all, what could be better than having your friends and family gathered around to shower the baby with gifts and blessings, share a good piece of cake, and dream with you about the new life that is on the way? The problem with the baby shower, however, is that you don’t typically give one for yourself.
Etiquette dictates that someone throws it for you, and asking friends or family members to shoulder the expense when no one seems to be volunteering is difficult at best. Worse, a direct request can become awkward if there happens to be a surprise shower in the works. So how can you get the hint out without making it sound like you’re asking? Try one of these ideas!
Some women are comfortable with coming right out and asking a friend about the shower. If you’re not one of them, you may find it easier to ask her if she knows of any party plans in the making. You’re essentially asking the same question, but by asking her to essentially share a secret it becomes more of a bond than a burden.
If that doesn’t get you anywhere, try to get your mom or sister involved. It’s usually easier to confide in a close family member, and they can really help get things going and are likely to throw the shower for you if no one else volunteers – especially once you share that it’s important to you.
Another option is to talk about someone else’s baby shower – even if you have to invent the story yourself! Chat with your best friend about how someone from your expecting club had a great shower … or share a story about how someone was disappointed that no one gave her one. Be sure to explain your feelings on the subject to get your point across.
If your husband has a good relationship with your family or one of your girlfriends, enlist his help. He can get the ball rolling without being wrapped up in any of the details, plus he can offer to help with some of the expenses and promise not to tell you a thing. No one else is likely to have as much access to your hopes and dreams, so he’s the perfect advocate!
When all else fails, forget etiquette! Well, perhaps not all of it, but the part that says you can’t throw your own party can be forgotten for now. After all, this is your baby, so make it your party! If you’re not comfortable with this non-traditional version of a traditional shower, then create a new tradition. How about a co-ed shower with your hubby working the grill? Throwing a regular party with a baby theme is a great idea, and it offers the chance for everyone – men and women alike – to celebrate together.
Many parents have parties after the baby is born. These are often referred to as welcoming parties instead of showers, but the baby is still showered with gifts and love! Keep in mind that you should limit your baby’s exposure to germs and viruses as much as possible during those first few weeks, so a big party packed into an enclosed space during cold and flu season may not be a good idea.
If you love the idea of a shower but don’t really need the gifts, how about hosting a baby shower for charity? You’ll enjoy the food, the games, and the friendship but the gifts will all go for a good cause. Find a local shelter that will let you deliver the gifts personally and the feeling you’ll have when you share your blessings with these less fortunate women and children will be worth far more than you could have ever imagined, plus you’ll be proud to send those invitations out yourself!
If you stop thinking of a baby shower as a request for gifts and start thinking of it as a time of friendship and celebration, you’re much more likely to find creative options for having one – even if it means throwing it yourself. Besides, why wait a full year for your baby’s first birthday party? That first birth day is actually right around the corner!
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