Womb to Bloom - Maternity & Beyond

Some folks can’t imagine that there’s be a controversy about having a second baby shower, while others are shocked that anyone would consider it.  Why the disparity between the two camps?  It may be a clash of old fashioned values versus modern ideas.  In most cases you shouldn’t feel pressured to change your plans because of what other people might think, but because a simple disagreement in etiquette can quickly turn into something much larger when pregnancy hormones are involved, it’s a good idea to familiarize yourself with both sides of the issue before the invitations are in the mail.

The Argument “For”

What’s not to love about a baby shower?  When everyone gets together to celebrate, the combination of food, family, and friends is just magical.  Although gifts will almost certainly be part of the day, very few women see the baby shower as a simple request for gifts and nothing more.  The fact is, for the cost of the baby shower the mom-to-be could probably buy most of what she needed, especially if she still had most of her gear from her first pregnancy.

Unfortunately, many guests who have a problem with repeat showers do see them as a request for gifts.  But even if you’re expecting another baby girl and she’s also due in the spring, there’s no guarantee that you can reuse all of the clothes and other baby items.  From differences in size to varying growth rates, there’s bound to be a reason that your beloved items won’t work.  If the baby is a different gender or arrives in a different season, then it goes without saying that you’ll need a few things this time around!

Additionally, although most baby items are made to be durable, few are expected to last for several years.  If you’re working on a full house, it might be time to replace items that have seen better days – especially if you have worn or broken items which can pose a danger to your baby.  Furthermore, there are constant advancements in product safety and recalls of older items, so you may very well need a newer version of something that you already own.

In some cases, especially when the second baby follows closely on the heels of the first or when multiples are on the way, one may not be enough.  If you have a new baby less than a year after the last one, then you’ll certainly need a second car seat, another crib, and most likely two high chairs – and that’s just to name a few examples!  Double strollers are also necessary conveniences with many closely spaced siblings, and you just can’t own too many diapers during those first few months!

Gifts aside, the truth is that most exciting thing about showers for many moms-to-be is the celebration.  Sharing the excitement of the new baby and reconnecting with friends and family is worth more than all of the gifts on the table, and few moms will argue with that. 

The Argument “Against”

There’s always going to be someone who will chastise you – quietly or not – for having a second baby shower.  The most common accusation is that of greed; the second is irresponsibility.  Why that order?  Because if you tell someone that you really do need stuff for your second-born then they’ll accuse you of not taking care of what you already had.  Sad, but true.

No matter how well you cared for your baby gear or how prepared you are for your next baby, there will be things that you need, and there will be critics of the fact that you’re “expecting” other people to get them for you.  The rally cry seems to be that “If you can’t afford to buy it yourself then you shouldn’t be having a baby.”  That may be true on some level, but once the baby is on the way, he or she deserves the best possible start in life – and a safe, happy environment is the best beginning of all.

Of course, most folks believe that every baby is worth celebrating, no matter where he or she arrives in the birth order.  Fill your guest list with friends and loved ones who feel the same way and there’s no reason you can’t have a baby shower for number two and beyond.  It’s not just about showering the baby with gifts, after all.  It’s about showering the baby with love, and every baby deserves that!