Womb to Bloom - Maternity & Beyond

No matter the age of your first child, the transition to being a big brother or sister can be difficult for them and for you as well. The relationship that your children develop with one another is an important bond that will last a lifetime, memories will be created, conflicts will be had, and grudges can be held, so it's important that their relationship atleast begin on the most positive note possible.

Try to explain to your child as early as possible that you're expecting a new baby, it may be a difficult concept for them to grasp at first depending on their age, but as your belly swells they will begin to understand there is something in there. Encourage them to talk to their baby brother or sister in your tummy, let them feel the baby kick; you may even want to include your child in prenatal visits so he or she can hear the baby's heartbeat with you. My daughter loved to see all of the babies at my doctor's office while we waited for our appointment.

If you have any friends or family members with babies, visit them and help your child to understand what they can expect their new sibling to be like. I once took my daughter to visit a friend with a 6-month old baby boy while I was pregnant with my son.

After telling my 3 year old repeatedly "your baby brother will be like him" and "we need to be very gentle with the baby, and be careful not to hurt him", she said to his mother "we need to keep our baby safe!", the mother agreed and affirmed this and my daughter said "so give us our baby!". This of course inspired a long talk about how our baby was still inside my tummy and we would have to wait until after Christmas for baby brother to arrive.

While you're pregnant, you need to answer any questions your child has about the new baby. If he or she asks where babies come from, you certainly don't have to explain sex to them, just tell them how the baby will grow inside your belly until he or she is big enough to come out and then mommy will go to the hospital (or wherever you choose to deliver your baby) and bring the baby home.

My daughter, now 4 years old, often asks me if her baby brother "flew out" of my tummy. Oh, if only it were that easy! However, like sex, she doesn't need to understand labor and delivery at this point.

You can also include your child in choosing a name for the new baby, or picking out clothes, bedding patterns, and toys. After the baby arrives, you can help your child feel like a big kid and be involved with the baby by asking them to help you with tasks such as putting disposable diapers in the garbage, folding cloth diapers with you, and feeding the baby if you use a bottle.

Also, show your older child pictures or videos of themself to help them understand that they were a baby too and that mommy and daddy cared for them the same way you are caring for their new sibling.

If any other changes need to be made for your child while you're expecting the new arrival, like potty-training or sleeping in a big kid bed, try to get such things out of the way a month or two before the baby arrives, otherwise you should wait until after they've adapted to the new baby. Trying to make too many changes at the same time can really throw your child off their routine and stress them out, causing tantrums and regressive behavior such as using baby talk even though they've progressed beyond it.

Remember to take baby steps to prepare your child for their new brother or sister; too much change too quickly can be counter-productive. Spend time with him or her while the baby is napping or being taken care of by your partner, this can help discourage any reason for jealousy and discontent about the new addition to your family.