Womb to Bloom - Maternity & Beyond

It is safe to say that in the first few days of your baby’s life both you and your husband are hyper sensitive as you begin to figure out your roles as Mom and Dad.  As much as your husband may appear to be sulky, it’s possible your perception’s a bit off because your body is in total shell shock from giving birth and abandoning regular sleep.  So give your husband the benefit of the doubt while you to figure this whole parenting thing out.

But it is true that some new dads go through an adjustment period as they realize they’ve been replaced by a very small someone who is the new center of your universe.  He may have a fear that your relationship is going to take a detour from regular quality time and intimacy to a ‘mom and pop’ land that looks way too much like his grandparent’s relationship.

And he may also be panicking just a bit as the magnitude of his new found responsibility finally sinks in.  Dreams of vacations and big ticket purchases are bursting because every time he closes his eyes he sees bills from the orthodontist and college tuition applications.
But just give this new dad a little breathing space because before you know it everyone will calm down and settle into a routine. 

It’s natural that you don’t have a lot of time (or a lot of patience for that matter) to help your husband deal with being a new dad.  Your main focus at this point should be on taking care of the baby, getting enough rest, and eating right.  But if you have a spare second, throw your husband a bone and give him an extra hug. 

And make sure to encourage him to spend time with the baby.  A super nervous dad might be too scared to hold the baby and avoid contact with him, saying he wants to wait until he gets a little bigger.  Don’t get in the habit of taking over all the responsibility for caring for the baby, because taking care of the baby is also valuable bonding opportunities.

Plop the baby in your husband’s arms and walk away.  Get your husband to give the baby a bath, or take the baby for a walk.  And whatever you do, don’t criticize how he handles the baby.  So he puts the diaper on backwards- don’t sweat it!  You don’t want to squash his fragile parenting confidence (because you might find yourself changing every diaper from now till preschool) Believe me, the more your husband holds and cares for his baby, the deeper his bond will grow, and the less he will panic about what the future will bring.