Womb to Bloom - Maternity & Beyond

I never thought twice about my weight until I became pregnant. Then all of a sudden just a month into my pregnancy my petite frame was no longer “the ideal” it was a problem.
One day I’m fit and healthy the next I’m too skinny for pregnancy. For the first time in my life I understood why so many women are hung up on the numbers on the scale.

From the very first gynecologist visit to the day you give birth your weight is under intense scrutiny. Whether you gain too much or too little you will hear about it from everybody and their mother. And that’s just the beginning of a never-ending public debate over a woman’s size just wait until after the baby comes.

Lose pounds too fast and people wonder if you’ve had liposuction. And if you are still holding onto the baby fat a year later people wonder why you haven’t had lipo. It’s enough to drive any new mom nuts.

I am fed up and I know I am not alone. It’s time to take this issue off the table and let women eat in peace: belly or no belly. The next time you see a mom-to-be devouring a double-scoop chocolate mint ice cream or picking at a chef’s salad mind your manners and bite your tongue. Instead of saying, “Should you really be eating that?” or “No wonder you’re so thin.” simply smile or better yet wish her and her baby well and then keep walking.

Unless you’re a friend or family member you have no idea why she’s eating or not eating what’s on her plate. And even if you do know her you still don’t know what’s it’s really like to be in her shoes. Every woman’s body is different before, during and after pregnancy.

Until that little stick turns positive you have no idea how you’re body is going to react to the changes that are going on inside of you. I was so nauseous the first four months of my pregnancy I couldn’t eat a full meal even if Wolfgang Puck offered to cook it up in my kitchen and give me a million dollars if I cleaned my plate. “No, thank you.”

The sight, smell and sometimes even the thought of food simply made me sick to my stomach. I battled so called morning sickness all day and night often while praying in front of the porcelain God. The numbers flew off the scale. Before I knew it I weighed less than a hundred pounds.

Imagine feeling like hell while busy bodies, meanies, and the simply stupid size you up just because they can. If only the lady at the supermarket asked me how I was feeling instead of gawking at my small tummy she would have known I almost threw up when my dog greeting my that morning. The smell of his breath just about did me in.

And if the man in the seat next to me on my business trip stopped to think before he lectured me about not eating anything during the flight he would’ve known just watching him eat his turkey sandwich made me queasy. He’s lucky we didn’t hit rough turbulence or his new suit would’ve been ruined. And if only my weight-obsessed friend hadn’t been impressed that I lost another five pounds, “I wish I had that problem when I was pregnant”. Uh, no, you don’t.

Thank goodness my appetite came back in full force by the fifth month. But that didn’t stop the “know- it-alls from hounding this mommy-to-be. Slowly but surely I put on weight but still didn’t “look” like most pregnant women do.

While many women are the size of beach balls by their due date my work colleague joked that I “looked like I was going to give birth to a bowling ball.”And that’s all that matters. Big or small as long as the baby is okay it’s nobody’s business if you’re a size two or size twelve. Even though I was petite my daughter was a hearty seven pounds six ounces at birth.

So, listen up. More often than not it’s best to keep your opinions to yourself when you come face-to-face with an expectant mom. Don’t judge the woman at the next table because she just ordered a third round of food. Maybe she’s pregnant with triplets. Simply say congratulations and let her enjoy her meal.

Think twice before you cast a critical eye at the woman struggling to fit into a pair of maternity pants in the dressing room. Maybe she has gestational diabetes and can’t control her weight. Instead of judging her offer to help find something that fits her well. 

And for heaven’s sake don’t ever bad mouth an expectant mom behind her back. How would you feel if you’re best friends made a catty remark while you’re pregnant and you found about it? Don’t bad-mouth her, keep it positive. Buy her a surprise gift or take her shopping you’ll be glad you did.

When it comes to baby bellies some things are better left unsaid and that goes for a mom’s post-baby tummy too. Not everyone looks like Angelina Jolie after they’ve had a kid. Some mom’s bounce back quickly some don’t. And the more kids you have the harder it is to get back in shape. And that’s okay. Believe me most moms know what it’s like to look in a mirror and see someone different looking back at us. We don’t need anyone pointing out our flaws. So go ahead make a mom’s day: zip up your lip, smile, and be on your way.