Womb to Bloom - Maternity & Beyond

Ever since the 17th century and, perhaps, dating back to ancient Egyptian times, women have had a great control over determining if we are prepared to bring another baby into our home. Having a baby will have a tremendous impact on every aspect of the family and home. There is much more to consider than what color you will paint the nursery (although, designing the nursery is one of the fun parts of planning for the new arrival). More choices and options are available for the parents to consider. Most of these options are determined on a personal level, however, there remain quite a number of things to think about that are inevitable, regardless of personal choices, such as finances.

Doctors will suggest eighteen months between pregnancies to ensure a healthy and viable pregnancy. Personally, when I questioned my doctor on the topic of the amount of time between pregnancies, he told me ‘there is no perfect time, whenever you and your husband are truly ready after your first is born, although there are medical issues to consider as well as the financial. I did not make any plans for two years between their births or even for 10 months. I have three sons and after the caesarean birth of my eldest, I had a perfectly healthy second child 19 months later, VBAC delivery (vaginal birth after cesarean)

However, 22 months after my second son was born, I became pregnant with my youngest. I had preterm labor, placenta previa and my son was diagnosed with renal reflux as well as additional health complications. So, to quote the advice from my doctor, “there is no perfect time” determining whether you and your partner are ready to have another baby will be based upon you and your partners personal choices, financial situation, if you and your partner are in agreement on the choice, the impact that a new baby would play on other children’s lives, as well as a multitude of other issues.

For first time parents, having a baby can be much more expensive than originally anticipated. In fact, the financial burden will, quite possibly, have the greatest impact on the household. For those parents who have more experience and understand that many unexpected and unplanned situations can arise during the pregnancy, this time around, new things are sure to surface just when you think you have everything figured out. For example,one scenerio maybe you have planned to hand down your first born’s stroller to your next baby, in effort to cut costs, but as the stroller is reborn from its dark basement grave the day after the birth of the second child, memories of the basement flood in ’99 rush back, as you hold a rusted front wheel in one hand and the stroller handle in the other. Since your wife is recovering in the hospital, now it is your responsibility to buy a new stroller for your child.

You hate shopping; you do not know how to ‘bargin shop’ the way your wife does and when you realize that your credit cards are maxed out, your body goes into panic mode. This is a completely unexpected and unplanned issue, and based on your average middle-class income it is so far out of your new baby budget, that your panic turns to fears; fears of telling your wife of the strollers rusted demise, remembering that she had asked you some months ago to find the stroller and you ignored her requests; fears of asking your sister for another small loan; fears of shopping; fears of eating hot dogs and macaroni & cheese for a month in order to make up for this unexpected financial set back.

Although, a tad humorous, this is a very real situation, and such unexpected expenses can arise at any given time. And this is only the beginning. Soon, the hospital bills will be pouring in and if the new parents have planned for the expense of the birth appropriately, there is sure to be a list of things that were not anticipated and therefore unplanned.

Today many couples chose to being their families at a later time. Women can have a baby in their forties, but dangers and complications are more common after age 35. It seems that the biological clock has been reset, as more and more women are giving birth in their late forties and even into their fifties.

If you are considering delaying starting your family until you and your partner are financially and emotionally settled, until your forties or even fifties, consider that the biological clock will move, with or without you, regardless of modern fertility miracles. On the other hand if you are in your twenties and still consider yourself to be too young, you would probably have plenty of time to delay starting your family. The choice of when is a personal decision that should be discussed with your doctor to determine if any health risks are associated with giving birth later or if starting earlier would be the best option for you.

Determine the reasons why you want to have another baby. If one reason is to please your partner or in-laws or any other relative, discuss this with your partner. Ultimately, it is the woman who will endure the pain associated with childbirth and the many changes to her body. However, if you really enjoyed the experiences of the previous pregnancy and childbirth, you should consider that each pregnancy can be different as well as your commitment will not end at childbirth.

There are much more things to consider to determine if you are both really ready to have another baby, However, if you and your partner are prepared for the changes that will inevitably come in many ways, and if you and your doctor feel that it’s a good time to have another baby, biologically, then it’s probably a topic that is worth talking about.