If you’re like most parents, you walked out of the hospital with your newborn and had a moment of “Help—what do I do now?!” Your baby depends on you for everything, which can be a terrifying thought if you have no earthly idea what you’re doing.
Even feeding your infant can be a challenge; all your baby can do is cry, so in the beginning it’s difficult to tell which cry means “more milk” and which means “burp me before I explode.” A few months down the road, the process gets even trickier as solids are introduced. But don’t worry; you’ll be an expert on your baby soon. And in the meantime, read on for some ideas and experiences that may come in handy.
Getting Started
Most moms turn to formula at some point during their baby’s first year. There’s typically less anxiety about formula feeding than breastfeeding because you can measure how many ounces your baby is eating per meal and per day.
If you start out with formula, the hospital staff will give you guidelines about how much and how often you can expect your newborn to eat now and down the road. In the first few weeks, it isn’t unusual for babies to drink only two ounces at a feeding. It probably seems like way too little to you, but remember that babies’ stomachs are tiny, and they fill up fast.
One trap parents can fall into with formula is coercing a baby to finish a bottle. It can be tempting because you’re likely looking at the unused formula as wasted money. Better in the baby’s tummy than down the drain, right? Wrong.
Babies don’t keep eating because they’re bored or because everyone else at the table hasn’t finished their plates. They know when they’re full, and parents need to respect that. Sometimes moms who pump milk and then feed breast milk in a bottle fall into the same trap as formula-feeding parents: to waste any of that hard-earned breast milk just feels so wrong. Again, it’s better to pour it down the drain than to try to get your baby to eat “just a little more.”
Nursing moms have worries of their own. Since they can’t measure how much their baby is getting (unless they express milk that’s fed via a bottle), it’s common to obsess over whether the baby is getting enough to eat. Seyna, 31, says that her anxiety was off the charts until she paid a visit to her pediatrician.
“When my daughter was a couple of weeks old, I called my pediatrician’s office in tears because I was convinced that I wasn’t producing enough milk for my baby. They got my daughter in right away, and the doctor stopped dead in his tracks when he walked in the room. He said, ‘Mrs. Dryer, I don’t want to dismiss you concerns before I examine your daughter, but that’s the fattest two-week-old I’ve ever seen. My initial opinion is that she’s fine—and you need more sleep.’ Now I can laugh about it.”
The vast majority of breastfeeding moms produce plenty of milk (my friend, Alyssa, says that she could’ve fed a whole village when she was nursing). But there are a couple of ways to measure whether your baby is getting enough milk, and they all have to do with what you see—or don’t see—in the diaper. After the first few days of life, your baby should wet six to eight diapers a day and poop at least once a day. If your baby is peeing and pooping enough but still seems fussy all the time, it’s worth a trip to your pediatrician to find out what’s going on. It could be a touch of reflux or even the onset of colic.
When you’re first beginning to nurse, it may feel like you’re feeding your baby all day and night—much more frequently than formula-feeding moms—and you’re right. You are. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you aren’t producing enough to satisfy your baby. One of the things that makes breast milk so good for babies is that it’s easily digestible. That’s also one of the reasons you’ll feel like a human milk machine for a few weeks. Don’t worry—eventually you’ll go more than an hour and half between feedings!
Solids: When is the Right Time?
When and how to introduce solid food is a tricky subject. Doctors are pretty clear on the matter; the American Academy of Pediatrics says to postpone solids until six months. But I dare you to find one mom who’s successfully held off that long.
Your grandma probably has stories about giving her kids a hamburger when they were two weeks old. It’s only been recently that medical professionals have recommended starting solids no earlier than four months and preferably at six months. The truth is that there’s usually no need to start solids any earlier than six months, but most parents do so for a variety of reasons.
One of the most popular reasons for jumping the gun is that parents believe cereal can help babies sleep through the night. It’s tempting to try it. Heck, it’s tempting to try anything that may help your baby sleep through the night when you’re so tired that you’re propping your eyes open with toothpicks. But resist the urge. Use the following as your barometer: if you don’t want to ask your pediatrician whether it’s okay because you’re pretty sure she’ll say it’s not, you probably shouldn’t do it.
The other reason that parents introduce solids before they should is simply because they’re excited about it. They want to experience a whole new stage with their baby - green beans, pears, sweet potatoes! Again, not a good reason.
The third rationale that causes parents to introduce solids too early is their belief that their baby isn’t satisfied with just breast milk or formula any more. This is rarely the case, however, and you can do some real harm by giving solids too early. You run the risk of allergies and can seriously mess with your baby’s digestive system, which isn’t prepared to handle solids yet.
Melinda, 30, decided it was time for her son to experience cereal when he was four months old, but he had other ideas. “I was so excited. I got a tiny little bit of cereal, mixed it with a healthy splash of formula, and put some on a spoon. He opened his mouth for it like a bird, but he kept pushing the cereal back out with his tongue. As soon as the spoon left his mouth, the cereal would be all over his chin.
I tried this for a couple of days in a row with the same result. I called his pediatrician, and she said that it’s normal for a by his age - I think it’s called a ‘tongue-thrust reflex.’ Apparently Jared decided he wasn’t ready for solids yet. When he turned six months old, I tried it again, and he ate the cereal like a champ. I’m sure its the first of many times he’ll rebel against what I want and go his own way!”
When your pediatrician gives you the green light to begin solids, start with a single-grain cereal - usually rice because it causes the least amount of allergic reactions. And never put cereal into a bottle; always give it with a spoon (or even on your finger at first).
Once cereal has been declared a hit with your baby, it’s time to move on to the exciting world of fruits and veggies. There’s no “right” Stage 1 fruit or vegetable to start with, but many doctors advise parents to begin with a vegetable first because fruits are much sweeter. Think about it: would you clamor for peas after you’d tasted the dreamy lusciousness of peaches?
It’s a good idea to wait at least three days in between introducing new foods. That way, if your baby develops a reaction to one food, you’ll be able to pinpoint the culprit. If your picky little eater doesn’t take to a fruit or veggie right away, keep offering it every couple of days. It can take dozens of tastes before your baby comes around to a new food. It took me years to develop a taste for blue cheese and asparagus, and it’s no different for babies.
The last bit of advice is to use plenty of common sense during this process. Too many parents get their babies hooked on sugar because they figure a little bite of ice cream won’t hurt (and it makes for a great picture moment). And it probably won’t, but most parents don’t stop at one bite of ice cream every three months.
Sam, 29, had a front-row seat to baby headed for trouble later in life. “I was at a baby shower, and one of the guests had her six-month-old daughter there. The mom was grabbing a piece of cake and asked for a corner piece because ‘Bella (her baby) just loves frosting.’ I thought to myself, ‘She should have no idea how her six-month-old feels about frosting!’”
Liquids: Helpful or Harmful?
Once you begin solids with your baby, you might be tempted to add things like juice to her diet. In years past, juice was the go-to drink of choice for moms, but it’s gotten some bad press recently. It’s no secret that Americans are raising a generation of overweight kids, and sometimes the factors that make them overweight can start before their first birthday. Juice - even the 100 percent pure fruit variety - is still on many pediatricians’ hit list because it has a lot of calories.
Juice can also be a problem because it fills babies up with those calories, and they may not be as hungry for the real nutritional powerhouses of fruits, vegetables, and breast milk or formula.
If it just doesn’t seem right to raise your kid on water and milk, juice isn’t necessarily evil. I discovered that my toddler is just as happy to have a splash of juice in her water as she is with a full cup of undiluted juice. If your baby has already gotten used to the taste of undiluted juice, start adding water a little at a time until juice is just a small percentage. If you do it gradually, she may not notice. And if she does, it’ll be just one of many fits she’ll throw that day. And really, what’s one more?
Milk, on the other hand, is necessary - but not right now. Your pediatrician will likely advise you to hold off on milk and other dairy products until after your baby turns one because they’re a common source of allergies. In addition to breast milk or formula, good old water is really the only liquid your baby needs right now.
When to introduce solids, what drinks to offer, and how much sugar to allow are all individual parenting decisions. It’s not easy, but it is best for your baby if you follow the advice of medical professionals. Just like you’ll tell your kids one day: don’t give into peer pressure!
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