Womb to Bloom - Maternity & Beyond

Having a baby is a huge investment - and I’m not just talking about the hospital bills. There are so many things available today that are marketed as absolute baby essentials, but the truth is that very few are must-haves. Based on my own experience and the experiences of lots of girlfriends, I’ve put together the gear that I consider to be essential, nice to have, and just plain not worth the expense. But since every parent has different needs, consider this list a starting point, rather than a rulebook.

Definite Must-Haves
For most parents, this gear is non-negotiable. Some of these items keep your baby safe, while others keep you sane. There can be quite a bit of difference in price and quality from brand to brand, so talk to other moms about what worked for them and research the safety ratings of bigger items.

Crib. Even if your baby initially sleeps in a bassinet or co-sleeper, eventually she’ll need a bed of her own. Cribs are ideal because the ones manufactured in the U.S. today are held to strict safety standards. Spend $100 or spend $1,000 - you’ll get a safe place for your baby to catch those all-important zzzzz’s.

Car seat. If you own a car, this is an essential piece of equipment. There are two types for babies: infant seats and convertible seats. Infant seats are the most user-friendly and, by the looks of things, most comfortable for babies. But they can only be used for up to a year—and much less if you have a big baby. Convertible seats are made for infants all the way up to 100 pounds in some cases. You don’t get the same convenience of an infant seat - being able to easily remove the seat with baby sleeping soundly, for instance - but they’re more economical.

High chair/booster seat. When your baby starts on solids at around six months, he’ll need to eat that rice cereal somewhere. Most parents opt for a high chair, but if you don’t have the space for it—or think they’re unattractive - a booster seat that attaches to your dining room chair works just fine for babies who are able to sit up well by themselves.

Nursing pillow. This is especially critical if you’ll be breastfeeding, but it’s helpful for bottle feeding as well. Think about it: when you’re sitting and holding a baby, there’s a gap between your lap and your arms. If you don’t fill that gap with a supportive nursing pillow, your arms will bear the brunt of your baby’s weight for the entire feeding. And a 10-pound baby can feel like 100 pounds after a few minutes. Personally, I loved the Boppy brand, but a girlfriend who had a c-section loved My Brest Friend because it was easier to position around her scar.

Onesies. Snap-crotch onesies are perfect - and essential - clothing for babies up to a year old. Why? Because you’ll be carrying your baby around until she can walk, and if she’s not wearing a onesie, you’ll forever be pulling her shirt down. Onesies don’t ride up, they’re a great layering piece on cold days, and they’re inexpensive. So if baby has a blowout poop and the stains won’t come out, toss it! Better a onesie than those cute pants that cost $30.

Dual electric breast pump. Only if you’re nursing, of course! No matter how little you plan to pump, a quality dual electric pump will get the job done fast. You can save money by using a hand pump or single electric pump, but you’ll wish you had invested in the dual electric after the first time it takes you 20 minutes to hand pump half an ounce. I learned this from painful (and frustrating!) experience.

Really-Nice-to-Haves
These are the things that make life so much easier with a baby, but if you’re on a tight budget, you can probably live without them.

Rocking chair or rocker/glider. You’ll spend hours and hours and hours feeding your baby during the first year of his life - and even more hours soothing your crying baby. Both of these tasks will be much more pleasant in the delicious comfort of a rocker. Do a “trial run” of your rocking chair prior to purchasing it to ensure that it’s wide enough to accommodate your nursing pillow and your baby.

Nursing stool. If you plan to breast- or bottle-feed your child in a rocking chair or rocker/glider that doesn’t have an ottoman - or even on the couch - a nursing stool props your feet in a position that makes your back and legs much more comfortable.

Baby carrier. Carriers are fantastic for strolling, shopping, and doing housework with your baby while keeping your hands free. There’s a huge price difference between some of the most popular brands - including Baby Bjorn and Snugli - so really try to evaluate how you’ll use a carrier (walking around town or hiking in the mountains) and how often you’ll use it (every day, once a month) before you pay more for features that you may not need.

Stroller. Strollers are lifesavers in so many situations, and they can be used for years. Today’s strollers offer useful features such as cup holders for you and baby, lots of storage room for diaper and shopping bags, and snack trays. You can choose from a travel system (that includes an infant car seat), jogging stroller, lightweight stroller, or full-size stroller that fits your needs and lifestyle. 

Diaper disposal pail. There are several different types of these on the market: some that twist diapers into little sausages, some that use special liners, and some that use regular garbage bags. What they all have in common is they keep the smell in the nursery to a minimum - especially before the baby starts on solids—and are a really convenient means of disposing of diapers. Determine which qualities you need in a diaper pail, and then choose your brand accordingly.

Swing. I have yet to speak to any parent who doesn’t go on and on about how much they loved their baby swing. It calms babies - most of the time to sleep - giving you a few minutes of free time to, well, do whatever you want! In the manic early days of parenthood, I’ve known parents who use them to grab an hour or two of sleep at night. Some swings not only have a front-to-back motion, but also rock side to side like a cradle - good for very young babies.

Bouncer. A bouncer is the solution to scenarios such as the following: “I’m alone in the house and want to take a shower. Where do I put the baby?” Bouncers, especially those with an optional vibrating motion, not only keep baby happy, but they offer a safe place to put your baby while you tend to other things. And since they’re lightweight, you can move the bouncer from room to room.

Mirror for the car. For at least the first year of your baby’s life, he will be facing backward in his car seat. This means that you won’t be able to tell whether he’s sleeping or awake, comfortable, has spit up all over himself, etc. The solution is a mirror made especially for this purpose that you place on top of the rear seat and angle so that when you look in your rearview mirror, you can see your baby.

Basinet or play yard. Some parents move their babies into a crib from the very first night home from the hospital. Others want to keep the baby in their room for a while. If you plan to do the latter, a basinet or play yard is small enough to fit into most bedrooms and is relatively portable. It’s also a great option for naptime if your house has more than one floor.

Baby monitor. The reason this isn’t essential is that a monitor’s usefulness depends on how big your house is and how sensitive your ears are. For me, even though my daughter slept on a different floor and I had a fan running in my room, I was immediately awake at the slightest sound - without a monitor. And when the monitor was turned on even the lowest setting, I couldn’t sleep because I heard every snuffle and sigh. But if you have a big house or need to keep track of naptime activity, baby monitors are fantastic.

Changing table. If you don’t want to buy a free-standing changing table, purchase one of those dressers that double as a changing table. The fact is, you’ll be changing thousands of diapers over the next two to three years. Do you really want to do it on the floor or on your bed? For about $100, you can change diapers in comfort and have all of your supplies at hand.

Not-Must-Haves
Lastly, we come to the gear that is by no means required or even falls into the category of “comes in handy all the time.” But again, every parents is different, and if the things listed below are items that you can’t imagine raising a baby without, by all means move them to the “must-have” section.

Wipe warmer. I was initially drawn to a wipe warmer because I figured it would help keep my baby calm during middle-of-the-night changes and, therefore, promote better sleep. Before I added it to my baby registry, however, I talked to a pal of mine who’d recently bought one for her newborn. Her advice? Don’t waste your money. Many models dry out the wipes and turn the bottom ones brown. Also, what happens when you have to change your baby away from home - a common occurrence for most parents? Your baby, who’s used to a nice warm wipe, will scream bloody murder at the touch of a cold wipe on his bum. Just get him used to regular wipes from the start.

Play mats. These things seem like genius must-haves. A mat with dangling things attached seems like a fantastic idea to keep your baby occupied. But most babies have absolutely no interest in the dangling things for any length of time until they’re too old and too mobile for the mats to be of much use.

Baby videos. I bought a ton of DVDs specifically geared toward a baby’s development, so this certainly isn’t a judgment about parents who use videos with their babies. Rather, I’ve never spoken to a mom whose baby has taken to these videos - or if they do, it’s not until they’re toddlers. Your money is better spent on diapers right now.

Small diaper bag. There are two reasons that this isn’t a practical purchase: one, nine times out of ten you’ll need a large diaper bag when you leave the house with your baby. And two, most hospitals send you home with a small diaper bag from a formula company. So if you actually do need a smaller bag, you’ll have a free one!

Sling. Mothers all over the world carry their babies in slings with great success, so why is this on the “save your money” list? Actually, slings made the traditional way - basically with a piece of cloth and a buckle or something similar that allows you to adjust it for length and fit - are a great way to keep your baby close and your hands free as you move around the house. But many of the commercial products have morphed into versions that can only be called slings because they’re worn across one shoulder. If you must purchase a sling, check with other moms for their recommendations and search thorough product reviews to avoid the stinkers.