[Submitted Question]

I can’t stand the sound of my baby crying. But my mother says I spoil her if I come running whenever she starts up. I should just leave her on her own a bit. After all, my mother says, screaming is good exercise for the lungs. Is my mother right when she says I should just let baby cry it out?

[WombToBloom]

Here’s a guess: you know your baby better than your mother knows your baby. You don’t even have to tell me that I’m right. I’m right. You don’t say how old your baby is – but if she’s still pretty little, she absolutely can’t be spoiled. Those early days, weeks and months are crucial to parental bonding with a baby. So, if you want to hold her and keep her from crying, do it.

Now, the flip side of that is this: your baby (if you have fed her, checked her diaper, tried to assist her gassiness, tried to get her to fall asleep) will be fine if you let her cry for a little while. I’m not saying leave her in her crib and let her wail for an hour – but if you need a few minutes to regroup or make dinner or take a shower or breathe deeply, I assure you that neither your baby nor your relationship with her will be scarred by letting her cry a bit.

(Admission: I did subscribe to a modified version of “cry-it-out” while trying to get my babies to sleep through the night. But only after I knew they could do it and after my pediatrician said that they were old enough to be ready. And I didn’t just abandon them to their rooms to scream for hours either – but that’s a whole other story for another forum topic!)

[tariq456]

You are not spoiling but your mother is somehow a bit right ..You should not hold your baby all the time..