Re:How Should I Tell My 6 & 8 Year Olds About Baby #3?
Don’t start telling other family members and friends before you tell your boys. Invariably, someone will spill the beans and you won’t have the chance to talk to them like you want to.
Six and eight year olds are probably old enough to understand most of what’s going on. They may have questions. They may be completely disinterested. Be prepared for anything. I think I’d just sit them down some night, without distractions, and tell them that you’re expecting a baby in (whatever month you’re due). Show them on the calendar, tell them what will happen between now and then (i.e., “So, the baby won’t be born until after Bobby’s birthday, after Christmas and after spring break.”).
Ask them if they have any questions. Be ready for the big one – discuss with your husband how you’ll handle the “how are babies made” angle if it comes up. Try not to project any of your fears or guilty feelings on them. You’ll probably be suggesting things that might not even cross their mind, such as “I want you to know that I will love you all the same and you shouldn’t be jealous of the new baby.” Those things probably hadn’t occurred to them – but they sure have now!
If they don’t want to talk about it, drop it. Tell them that you’ll be growing the baby for a long time and if they think of any questions to let you know. That way, the door is open but you’re not pushing them for some big emotional breakthrough.
My guess is that they’ll be somewhat disinterested until you get pretty big or until the baby arrives. When it becomes more tangible, they’ll be more interested. And they’ll be great big brothers – six and eight are great “helper” years.
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