[Submitted Question]

I am the only woman in our office who has a child. I used to have a great relationship with my coworkers but lately it hasn't been so good. They are often insensitive and inconsiderate. They don't seem to understand that I can't go out for a drink after work any more and that we can't come to the office party if the babysitter gets sick. Is there a way to let my colleagues know how I feel without making it worse by implying that they are at fault?

Irene H., Mississippi

[WombToBloom]

It sounds like these relationships used to be good and important to you. If they are still important personally and professionally, you may have fall on the sword just a little bit. If happy hour was a big part of your work relationships before baby, maybe you can arrange to go once every month or two.

In between, just tell them, “You know I’d love to go and I really miss hanging out with you guys, but I get such little time with the baby as it is, I just can’t go all the time anymore. I’m excited to get home to the baby, even though I’m bummed out that I can’t grab drinks at the spur of the moment anymore. But I don’t want to feel guilty because I choose to be with my baby as much as I can.” And say it with a smile. If you make the effort to maintain a personal connection with them, maybe they’ll lay off a bit – or get to know the new you!

[terily]

maybe you could instead arrange a lunch date with some of the coworkers. just a chance to chat and reconnect, but at a time you aren't missing your baby!

[Melissa]

If these outings are important to you (and not just your co-workers) then I would make time for some happy hours. You don't want to completely give up the things that you did before baby...on the flip side if you want to be home and the co-workers are just giving you a hard time, just give them a smile and tell them they will understand one day (and they will)

[MrsAshley]

Try to set up a lunch date and the occasional after work get together but try to remember that they have a different set of priorities than you do. When I first got married I remembered my best friend would have similar feelings as your friends. She would be insensitive and hurtful even though I made lots of time for her. She was jealous of me and wanted things to be like they were before and they can't be that way. Make time for your friends but kindly let them know that you enjoy spending time with your child too. Tell them you miss getting together with them as often but you love seeing your baby's face light up when you come home. Bottom line: sympathize, make time, and share your feelings.

[tariq456]

Communication is the only way of this problem . They are your colleagues they will understand your problem .

[johniori]

tariq456 you are right i am agree with your suggestion,,,,,,,,,,,,