[Rosario]

So I am planning on employing a local all natural midwife-- she's awesome, I feel really comfortable with her, she's been hooking me up with the best herbs, etc-- but the thing is is that I don't want her to "do" anything to me. I'm interested in "freebirth" and definitely in taking care of my own needs during pregnancy. I don't want any exams, lab tests, sonograms, etc. Incidentally, I think I am way healthier and will take much better care of myself than most women who go to traditional hospital route. Also, this whole process has been utterly spiritual and I feel very connected and in tune with my body, and "knew" certain things about my pregnancy months before they happened. Anyway, I'm just trying to say that I myself know I will be fine, and I would have to be at death's door before anyone got me into a hospital.
I wanted to ask if there is generally a way to just arrange for a midwife to be present at the birth but to be independent until then?
I don't have much money and I feel i would actually would be able to afford much more beneficial things in my view-- like the best, most nutritious food, herbs, etc-- if I didn't have to worry about paying the full midwife cost when I don't even want that service anyway. However, seeing as I come from a traditional family who would in no way be okay with this plan, do you think there would be any doulas who would agree to be my main "care provider" (non provider) during pregnancy?
Since you all will probably have a similar perspective as my parents--"pregnancy is dangerous, you can't know what can happen, etc" I wanted to ask for your suggestions for any way that I could receive the most minimal care that would appease my parents. This is really important to me. Thank you for any input.

[ClarissaNassar]

I'm interested in hearing some responses to this! there are lot of qualified ppl here to answer your questions--not me! lol

[Chelziee]

Here is my thing. I feel that it is important to be prepared for your baby, mentally and physically. Maybe one ultra sound would help ease your parents pain, and assure to them that your baby is healthy and you are healthy and capable of doing this by your self. Give them the chance to see your side of what you want to do with your baby and your body. Almost no one as a parent would say "sure i think this is a great idea" but ideas take some getting used to, and as your parents they should respect your bounds. Its like I have said so many times before ultra sounds are so benificial to both mother and baby I almost feel like the parents should want to know that their baby is health or if there baby will have an illness, but these are just my thoughts and views. But maybe if you would do the one ultra sound and perhaps let your parents sit in on it they would be more comfortable and less freaked out by your motherly readiness. Best Wish and Happy Pregnancy!
-Chelsey

[kathickey]

Rosario-

I would like to do my best to answer your question. Are you planning a homebirth? Is the midwife you are considering a homebirth midwife?

It is great that you are so in-tune with your body and your baby. This will make for a more enjoyable pregnancy and a safer and more satisfying labor and birth. In terms of prenatal care, some homebirth midwives can be flexible about their arrangements. Some are willing to only meet every other month, especially if you will be taking vitamins, eating well, charting your own vitals, such as taking your blood pressure and dipping your urine, etc. A midwife will want to do some assessments to make sure that you are a good candidate for homebirth. There are several things that could come up that would make a pregnant woman not a good candidate for homebirth, and in order to attend your birth in good conscience, the midwife would want to do a few assessments. A doula would *not* be a good substitute. Doulas are not trained in any type of clinical assessment and are not qualified to be a primary care provider. It's actually against doulas' scope of practice to be involved in that way.

If you know a great midwife, let her know what you want. Be up front about your desire to make your birth affordable, and to have as little interference as possible. Realize that a midwife is trying to make a living, too, and there are costs associated with caring for you and attending your birth. If this arrangement does not work for her, she may be able to refer you to another midwife who would be willing. Homebirth midwives are accustomed to women who want little or no intervention or assistance during pregnancy and/or labor. Personally, I require very little assistance during labor and both midwives that I had were extremely hands-off, sometimes out of the room unless I asked for them.

I think you can find the right balance of prenatal care and labor support, while still having the hands-off feel you desire. If you can't find anyone that fits your requirements, freebirth is always an option and there are many great online resources for planning a freebirth. Good luck and feel free to contact me if you have any further questions.

Kat Hickey, CD(DONA)
birth doula and homebirth assistant

[midwifegail]

You understand what prenatal care is all about, it is preventative care. With a midwife prenatal care is more about caring. Caring to get to kow you, your strengths and weaknesses, your famiky dynamics, So that you will have the best birth possible. The medical "stuff" is also just preventative. Life is bio-feedback. Like weight tells you how your body is handling the food choices you make, urine analysis also. Measuring the fundus tell you that your baby is growing well, diet advice is also preventative advice.
Hearig your baby is not necessary but how much fun and others in the family can hear -what you feel, the wonderful baby kicks.
Blood pressure is a non-evasive procedure, just tells once again how your body is responding to the pregnancy, this is important as blood pressure sometimes even if high does not have any warning signs . Many old people feel fine ,yet their blood pressure can hurt them -. This can be helped with diet s well.
So please talk with your midwife, she can see you , as a friend as well as a professional. Fees can be bartered, I have done that. Trust and good communication can for sure give you a hands off birth. I have delivered many babies, with no vaginal exams at all -even during births.Some minimal lab work can ensure preventaive care for the next baby, not this one. If your blood type is Negative: a shot or Rhogam after birth can prevent a miscarriage.
Some people are cariers of Group B strep, possible infection to pass to baby at birth. Hee in Belize where i am semir-retired 2 babies last month - died at 5 and 7 days becuase the country has no funds for finding out whicch Moms are cariers of this. about 1/3 of all women are carriers. Risk is low of infection in a full term newborn, what if you -for some reason unknown to you - you deliver a premature baby.
I too beleive in minimal invasion ,that is why I am a midwife for 24 years. I would not attend a birth of a family that i did not know and care for emotionally. Everybaby I delivered was "my baby", My family.
I have spent 36 hours in families homes, laughing,eating, walking, and best of all helping familis to have such a laid back birth that they say. "We did not even need you". yet we were glad to share our babies birth with you.
One family of 4 sisters - I have "caught" 24 babies for. They are my family now -for sure. I love them all.
So, see a midwife, make her your friend and journey together and have a knowing and wise freind.

midwife Gail

[Susane]

Hi Rosario.
First of all congrats to you. Being a mother is world’s biggest pleasure & a nice experience as well. The time duration of pregnancy is very special for every woman. As you said that you are in need of good advice to care yourself in good manner i would like to suggest you www.pregnancycalendarplus.com site which provide a beautiful ebook “My Bloomin Belly a Pregnancy Calendar Plus” with MP3 audio, which provides you a good advice to care yourself. This ebook will guide you to have a good pregnancy period and the site also provides beautiful baby shower gifts. These gifts surely make would be mother happy!

[Susane]

t has often been said that a pregnant woman should eat for two people, but this is not true.

What is true is that during pregnancy a woman has to provide good nutrition for two individuals. The growing baby gets all its nourishment from its mother through the umbilical cord, so diet is very important. If the mother is lacking in any vitamins and nutrients her baby might lack them too.

If a woman has had trouble keeping her weight up or down before the pregnancy, she should make a nutritional plan with the help of her doctor or midwife.vaibhav