[Submitted Question]

This is going to be our first child. We really have no idea what to expect once the baby is born. Will it really mean that we won't be getting any more sleep? How stressful is it going to be? Any real-life advice would be appreciated.

[WombToBloom]

Okay, real life. No, you won’t be getting much sleep. It’s going to be pretty stressful.

And unbelievably wonderful and indescribable. All at the same time.

To answer your question, you will probably not have regular, uninterrupted sleep for at least four months after the baby is born. Some babies sleep through the night earlier than that; some later. But four to six months is the ballpark. Until then, you (or your partner) will be getting up to feed the baby every two to three hours at night. It can get exhausting, no matter how well you work out a sharing schedule with your partner, no matter how many naps you catch during the day.

It’s the exhaustion that really precipitates the stress, I think. You and your baby don’t really know each other. There’s a learning curve – it takes time to figure it all out. You’ll want baby to have a schedule and he won’t have one for several months. He may go through a colicky phase at one or two months when he will cry every evening for seemingly no reason. You may have nights when he won’t want to go back to sleep at 2:30 in the morning but you have to get up for work at 6.

It’s hard. I think the first year of parenthood/babyhood is the hardest – due largely to the lack of sleep. But it does slowly get better as baby grows and as you figure him out a little bit. The great part about it is that you really don’t remember or dwell on these tough times after they’re gone – this too shall pass.

And in between the stressful, tired, hard parts? You have the privilege of watching your squishy, snuggly little guy grow and develop. It’s awesome.

[laboroflovedoula]

no you can still sleep- but you may have to become creative. the best place for a baby to sleep is where the parents get the most sleep... so sleeping close to the parents is usually easier for everyone. sleep when the baby is sleeping during the day. go to bed earlier than you used to. stay in bed later than you used to. in fact don't plan things in the morning so that you can cuddle back in to your baby after eating a bit of breakfast. you may have to piece the hours together but it is only a short time. rest when you can!

[KatieBeach]

For me the critical part was staying calm. I think the first 2 weeks you're running on this amazing "OMG I have a baby" high that nothing - not even severe sleep deprivation - can touch. Then two things happen at once - you start to get tired and your baby wakes up. My family likes to call that amazing little baby that always sleeps for you a stunt baby - because it just does not last. Try to get some sleep when you can, which does mean napping. I'm not a napper - I litterally dread taking naps. But this is one time in your life when it's definitely a good idea. And then - just stay calm. Your baby, even a colicky baby, will eventually get into a routine and you'll become a normally functioning (and sleeping) person again. But in the meantime - stay calm. Seriously. Take a breath. Doesn't that feel better? Your baby can pick up on your stress, so the more upset you become about your lack of sleep, the more upset your baby will become. I didn't know that lovely lesson with baby #1 and I couldn't for the life of me understand why after many hours of trying to calm her down, if I just woke up my sleeping husband to hold her for a minute she relaxed... because he was relaxed. Of course if he had woken up in a bad mood I suppose I would have never learned that lesson. Guess I got lucky there.

[MrsAshley]

This will be one of the most wonderful times of your life but no, you won't sleep much. It will probably be about the amount of sleep you got in college during finals but broken up through the night. You will enjoy naps like never before. This too shall pass....but mom's always want that time back (the time when they're baby was first born, not necessarily the late nights).

[advocatemom]

My Girlie was a pretty good sleeper. There were just a few nights in the beginning when she screamed for hours, but by the time she was a week or two old she was sleeping for 4 hours at a time. It was not bad at all. She slept allnight (think 11 pm to 5 am) at about 8 weeks.

[Chelziee]

The best advice I can give you is to sleep when your baby is sleeping. No, you will really not get very much sleep at all. Babies sleep in intervals anywhere form 2-6 hours (6 being later in the later months of age) and for an adult to get into REM (Rapid Eye Movement) Which means that you are really sleeping it takes an adult 2-6 hours. The other piece of advice I would give to you is to make our babies feeding on a 4 hour time laps. It helps you be a better parent to your child. Some of the Nurses and Doctors will say no, but both of my babies were fed this way and it was better for all of us. Its your baby, your decision. The next thing is to let your baby sleep the way it is comfortable. I mean he/she has spent their whole life upside down, so sleeping on the side, belly, or back is no big deal no matter what THIS years "SIDS" prevention plan is (it changes every year rest assured) As long as your baby has fed, burped fully and has a clean but it should all be fine. The next is. DONT FEEL OBLIGATED TO SIT AND HOLD YOUR BABY! If the baby has been FFBC (fed, full, burped, changed) and you need to do the dishes, or take the trash out and the baby is screaming, if you continue to do what you need to do first and then come to baby to comfort things will go much more smoothly. Also, the Pack N Play in the room where you and dad are sleeping is the best. It prevents a lot of miles. If your nursing, put the baby in bed with you and lay him/her down by your breast to feed. Make the room that will be lived in the most as comfortable as possible, you will bring a new meaning to "lived in"
Good Luck are your venture to children. It is the most stressful rewarding thing you could ever love!
-Chelsey

[mommyjen99]

Well I don't think I have slept well in the last 17 years. Just joking. The first year is rough and only gets better from then on. Being a new mom I don't know how many times I woke up just to make sure the baby was breathing. I agree with everyones advice, sleep when the baby sleeps. I can't tell you how many times I have woken up on the recliner with the baby just cuddled up on my chest. It is the best feeling. I used to have guilt that I needed to clean the kitchen up or do some laundry. But I always remember the saying :

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'till tomorrow,
for babies grow up, much to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobweb-dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep

[CrazyAdventures]

Best advice is to sleep when the baby sleeps, because you can only really do that with your first, unless you've got a babysitter or hubby's home

As far as getting no sleep at night, you can co-sleep with the baby alongside you, and cuddle up and breastfeed so there's no physically getting out of bed to attend to the crib, etc. With my first, he slept alongside our bed in the bassinette HORRIBLY. Once we put him in bed with us? PERFECT. Keep diapers and wipes right there by the bed on the nightstand, and have the baby in an easy, zippable PJs set so you can quick change at night without stirring him/her.

Also, my little trade secret, I try to do my best to ensure the baby's awake during the day in my belly, so that the baby didn't keep me up kicking and throwing parties in my belly at night, which seemed to some how do a great job of conditioning them to sleep at night better once born. I would have a glass of OJ, or gently nudge the baby awake, play some music. Worked like a charm

Lastly, ARM YOURSELF WITH GAS MEDICINE! A lifesaver if your baby has trouble burping!

[alossa]

I must have had an unusual baby... I hope for you the kind of baby I had! She is now 1 year old and has slept form about 8 pm to 6 am since she came home from the hospital. Sure there were a few nights she woke up once or twice, but a readily available bottle and a dark quiet room was a quick fix. She was right back to sleep. For the first six weeks after her birth, I was off work so I had time to just be with her, I slept when she slept, and played when she was up. Babies do tend to sleep a lot during the day, so when I had, had enough napping I would get things done around the house. I think my husband and I's laid back attitude influenced her a lot. Try not to stress too much and remember...there's no such thing as spoiling a new born!