[Submitted Question]

I am 20 weeks pregnant. Unfortunately, I have broken up with my boyfriend and will be a single mom. Though this isn't what I would have wished for, I have adjusted to the idea and am very much looking forward to my baby. But so far I haven't had the courage to tell my parents that I am expecting a child. They are quite conservative and will be very upset. How should I best approach the topic?

[WombToBloom]

Do you live far away from them? If not, they’ve probably already figured it out by 20 weeks! And they’re freaking out, hoping they’re wrong and hoping that the problem will go away.

I would be very honest with them. I would acknowledge that they’re bound to be upset with you. If they’re as conservative as you indicate, they will probably appreciate your decision to have the baby. You could use that as some common ground. “I certainly didn’t plan for this to happen – the pregnancy or the break-up. But I know that you’ll understand that my decision to have the baby is the right one.”

You should share with them the thoughts that went into your decision to keep the baby so that they can (hopefully) understand your thought process and respect the fact that it wasn’t a flippant decision.

And then tell them that you would love to have their emotional support and that you hope that they will want to be a part of your life and your baby’s life. Give them some time to digest the information and the come to terms with the situation. Invite one or both of them to your next doctor’s appointment or sonogram.

Hopefully, they will come around and be supportive. But, if not, you still need to be a grown-up and a mom to your new baby. They’ll miss out on some wonderful times with their daughter and granddaughter but that will ultimately be their choice.