Womb to Bloom - Maternity & Beyond

Second time moms will already have realised that pregnancy is much harder when you already have a toddler or young child to look after, and they are probably worrying about how difficult taking care of a newborn will be when they have their older child to consider as well. There are many practical ways that close friends and relatives can help out with older children, and take some of the burden off the mom.

Offer to look after the older children during the labor
One of the main worries a mom might have about her second labor is who is going to look after her older child or children. Offering to take care of them will take a great weight off her mind, but make sure you are realistic about when you will be able to baby sit. If you have the kind of job where you can take off at a moment’s notice, then great, if you don’t she might need to make other arrangements for if she goes into labor in the week, during the day.

If possible arrange to come over and look after the children in their own home. This may make them feel more comfortable and less worried about what is happening to their mom. They’ll also be able to go to sleep in their own bed, with familiar surroundings which could help them to settle. It will also take away the hassle of mom trying to get her older kid ready to come to your house when labor starts.

Find out about the children’s daily schedule
If you are going to help out with older children, make sure you get details of their daily routine well in advance. Check their meal times, their nap times, their bath times and their bed times to make sure you can maintain their usual schedule as closely as possible. Finding out what their favorite foods, books and activities are will also help you to keep them happy during what can be a distressing time in a young child’s life. Knowing that you have a copy of their kids’ schedule will also give mom some peace of mind during the labor.

Plan day trips for the older child to give mom some baby time
Once your friend is back home from hospital, you can still offer to take her older children out from time to time to give her some time for herself and the new baby. Take them on a special outing that you know they will enjoy, maybe to a zoo or theme park.

Make sure they feel that it is a treat for you to take them out, and don’t give them the impression that you are only doing it to get them out of their mother’s way or they will feel like a burden. If you don’t have kids of a similar age to go along as well you could ask the child if they want to bring along a school friend.

Look after baby so mom can play with her older children
It’s only natural that mom will still want to spend quality time with her older children, and keep doing the activities they used to do together before the baby came along. You can offer to look after the new baby while she goes to mother and toddler, or the playground with her older kids, but this might be hard if she is breastfeeding, and needs to be near to the baby. In this case you can offer to accompany her and her children when they go out so you can look after the baby between feeds while mom is playing with the other kids.

Help with domestic chores for the older children
There are other practical things you can do around the house to help with taking care of older children. Cook some nutritious meals that you can bring over and maybe freeze, so that mom doesn’t have to come up with inspiration for her children’s dinner every night.

Offer to do a couple of loads of laundry, and include the older child’s clothes as well as baby clothes; young children get through outfits very fast and your friend may be so caught up in getting baby clothes ready they don’t have chance to wash for their older kids.