Womb to Bloom - Maternity & Beyond

Okay ladies, we are going to tackle what to my surprise has become a very sticky issue recently: Birth Plans.  Now, when I started my research for this article I didn’t realize what I was getting myself into.  I thought that I would be able to write a pleasant piece on the benefits of Birth Plans from the perspective of new Moms as well as the Nurses that take care of them.  That didn’t turn our to be the case. 

Instead I stumbled upon an issue that appears to have these two groups firmly pitted against each other.  On one side you have the Moms with their very well thought out and detailed Birth Plans, and on the other you have the Nurses that are left trying to implement those plans.  From what I can tell, both sides make valid arguments.  But which one is right?  Well, I don’t know that this is an issue of right and wrong, but rather it is one of perspective.  Let’s take a look at both sides and see what we find. 

First we will visit the new Moms.  To a first-time Mom, having a Birth Plan is a kind of lifeline.  You are going through a time when you have little to no control over so many things.  You can’t control if you have morning sickness or not, you can’t control your size, and you sure can’t control when you go into labor.  Much less how your delivery will progress!  By creating this plan, it makes the Moms feel like they have some control over the situation and how it will go.

So they spend hours pouring over books, articles, and websites to piece together what they see as the perfect plan.  By the time they are ready to deliver they have thought of EVERYTHING….and put it in the plan.

This may be where the problem lies.  You see, when I spoke with several Labor and Delivery nurses on this very subject, they rolled their eyes in annoyance.  Here is what one such nurse had to say on the subject:

“I have to say that overall, I’m just not a fan of birth plans.  I know that all the baby sites scattered over the Internet tout them as the best thing since sliced bread, but most of the time they tend to cause more problems then they solve. 

Why is that?  Well, it boils down to the fact that just because you write something down on a piece of paper doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen. 

I have Moms come in all the time with this 5 paged detailed plan of how they want their birth to go.  And it usually looks something like this:

• NO Epidural
• NO Episiotomy
• NO Forceps
• NO Stitches
• NO C-Section

Well…Just think of Bridezilla and then make it Momzilla and you’ve got the picture.”

When I read this I start to think that the problem my lie not in the actual idea of having a Birth Plan, but in the types of plans that we are creating.  From what I can tell, women are viewing their Birth Plans as a list of hard and fast rules for their caregivers to go by.  While the idea of that might be nice, there are some decisions that need to be made with your doctor at the time of your delivery.  Not months in advance while sitting in the kitchen drinking decaf with your girl friends!

Instead of thinking of your Birth Plan as a hard and fast plan, let’s start to think about it more in terms of a Birth Wish List.  As in, think guidelines instead of rules, and preferences instead of demands.  In short, its time to make these plans more realistic. What you need is a fluid plan that leaves room for reality. 

Lets look at a few key ways to make your Birth Wish List a usable document that can benefit you during your delivery rather than complicate things.  Remember, we want a flexible and feasible plan.

Be Flexible
Your medical team will do everything that they can to adhere to your wishes, but they also have the safety of both you and your baby at heart.  So if they suggest something at least be willing to listen to them.  They do this A LOT, and just want to bring your baby safely into the world.

Be Brief
If you have page after page after page of instructions, then it becomes very hard for your medical staff to remember everything that you have listed.  Think about it.  If someone handed you a five page list in the middle of a hectic situation, how well would you do at remembering every detail?  And if your list is that long do you really think that every point on it is crucial?

Be Realistic
If you stick to the two points above then the only things that you should have on your plan are things that REALLY matter to you.   When you stick to the main points then you have the time to talk with the nurse about your options and explain why you feel strongly about these key points.  Then it is a real plan rather than an outline of a fantasy delivery!

In the end I think that Birth Plans have the best of intentions at heart, it is our execution of them that makes the difference.  The birth of your child should be one of the happiest and amazing days of your life.  You want to spend it with those you love, welcoming this new life into the world.  You do not want to spend it angry that your plan was not followed to a T. 

And maybe if we start creating more realistic Wish Lists, we will find that our nurses will be excited to partner with us in implementing them.  Wouldn’t that be great!  Ladies we have the chance to make something amazing happen here.  So what are you going to do with it?