What Happens RIGHT After the Baby is Born

When I was pregnant with my first child, it seemed that everywhere I turned I was bombarded with “well meaning” advice. I was told how to be pregnant, the proper way to have my baby, what I should buy, and (of course!) how to raise my child. But the one thing that NO ONE wanted to talk about was what would happen after the delivery.

And that was what scared me. After my daughter was born, I found that the reality of life after birth was not nearly as scary as I had thought. I could walk, I could sit, I could eat, in short, I WAS FINE.

Yes, there are some things that you need to know, but that’s what I’m here for. I’m going to walk you through the in’s and out’s and (hopefully!) help alleviate some of your fears. Having a baby is probably the greatest thing that you will ever do. And the whole process goes so quickly, you don’t need to spend a moment of it seeped in unnecessary worry.

So let’s get started!

The first tip that I am going to give you is actually something that you will want to take care of BEFORE you have the baby. Now listen carefully, the one thing that you want to make sure that you do before you leave for the hospital is shave. And I’m not talking about your legs. No…no that would be too easy, I’m talking about the hair “down there.”

I know what you’re thinking, “Yeah right! That’s the last thing I’m going to worry about when I’m about to have a baby!” Let me tell you why you might want to change your mind. After your baby is born you are going to have quite a bit going on in your neither regions. You’re sore, you have bleeding, and you have more people who are excessively interested in your crotch than you ever wanted.

Now keep all of that in mind as I give you a visual. Imagine that you are wearing the world’s largest pad (which you will be) and that you have all that goo coming out. Goo comes out, goo dries out, and hair gets stuck in dried goo. That’s gonna feel really good the next time nature calls! And after you have a baby, it calls a lot. Get the picture? Take my advice on this one; you really want to shave.

Time to fast forward a bit. You’ve just had your child. It’s so wonderful! It’s so sweet! It’s OUT! Don’t be afraid if your first thought isn’t about how gorgeous and beautiful your baby is. When my little girl came out I am SO not ashamed to admit that my first thought was not a sweet declaration of motherly love. No, my very first thought was, “Oh Thank God, she’s out!” Followed closely by “Why is my baby blue?” and “Gross!”

What I didn’t know was that even very healthy babies are blue when they are first born. It takes a few minutes of them breathing on their own for them to pink up. My doctor said that is has something to do with the oxygen in the blood. I also didn’t realize just how thick and gooey the vernix was, that was where the gross came in.

Very shortly after your child is born, you will have to deliver the after birth. This sounds way worse than it really is. If my doctor hadn’t told me to pay attention and give a little push, I wouldn’t have even realized that something else was going on. All you feel is a little, “ploop” and that’s it. There is no real work to it (meaning no more big pushes!) But my husband did take great pride in telling me just how disgusting it looked. God love him, it’s really a good thing that I couldn’t reach him at that point.

Another huge worry of mine was the whole episiotomy. While I escaped that particular brand of torture, I did end up tearing and having to have a few stitches. Here again, the reality was far easier than my mind had led me to believe. For one thing you are still numb from your epidural (which I FULLY recommend that you do). So you can’t feel them stitching in the first place. When my doctor was about half way through I started to feel a few little stings, so I let him know. He gave me a local, and no more pain! If you can’t tell by now, I’m a big fan of no more pain.

Plus you have to realize that this is a time frame when many things are going to be happening all at once. Your doctor is talking to you, the nurse is messing with you, another nurse is messing with the baby, you are trying to see your baby, your family is buzzing around the room, and then invariably someone will try to shove a camera or phone in your face. Sometimes both. So fun that part. But the point is that with all that is going on in the room, you really won’t notice a few stitches.

As soon as all the craziness has died down, the first thing your nurse is going to want to do is get you up. I, personally, looked at mine like she was crazy. But after doing this day in and day out, those nurses are persistent and in the end, she won. While you will be able to stand, you REALLY want to make sure that you have help. The first time that you stand up is not very pleasant. They called it a “gush of blood.” Yeah, well, whatever it was it didn’t feel good and I wasn’t ready for it.

It not knee buckling pain, but it is something that you need to be ready for. If you know it’s going to happen then you can wrap your mind around it BEFORE you try and stand, not after you are left gasping for breath. The upside is that it only happens once and then you’re over it.

Once they have you up, then they are going to want you to go to the bathroom. Here is the next thing that I wasn’t ready for; they go with you. And they make you pee in what looks like an upside down cowboy hat. It’s really gross, but they have to measure what comes out for the first little bit. So you will sit there with two strange nurses watching you use the bathroom. Then they show you how to clean yourself using a spray bottle and blotting dry. Yeah, I have to say that I was mortified. But here again, you have to remember that they do this everyday, and there is a reason for it. Even if I still don’t know what it is.

Now comes the fun part. They will give you these lovely undies to wear. My looked like someone just cut the legs off of the world’s biggest pair of panty hose. My sister informed me that the ones I got were the cream of the crop and that hers had been just nets. Well whichever ones you get, fashion statements they are not.

But it’s not the underwear that matters; it’s how you set things up. You want to make sure that you ask your doctor to write you a prescription for the numbing agents. They have several kinds, mine was foam and I loved it! But if the doctor doesn’t write it you don’t get it, so make sure you have that taken care of before he takes off.

So you have your granny panties and your industrial sized pad. You should also have either Tucks or witch hazel pads. My hospital had them ready for me, but I also had some in my bag just in case. What I recommend is that you take two or three Tucks and lay them in a line down your pad. That way everything is covered and the pad can’t dry out and stick to you. (Did you remember to shave?!) Then you spray the numbing foam on top of that. Once you have it all set up, you have to pull it up carefully or everything falls off, and then you have to start all over. It may seem like a lot of work, but once you see how good it feels you won’t mind it at all!

When it’s time to get back into bed you will be tempted to sit lightly on the edge and then scoot into position. DON’T DO IT! When you scoot you pull. Think for a minute about where you pull. See my point? I promise, if you forget this tip and try to scoot your way across the bed you will find yourself saying words that you didn’t even realize you knew.

Now just when you think you’re going to scream if you have to do one more thing, it will be time to feed your baby. They put that precious little bundle in your arms and suddenly it’s all okay. All the stress and work of the day is behind you and even more than that, it was worth it. Who knows, one day soon you might even be willing to do it all again!

I know that reading this isn’t going to take your fear away, but I hope that it will help. I also know that I had so many questions before I had my baby that no one would really answer. And some that I didn’t really want to ask. In the end it’s the unknown that we fear. Because even though you can see that this is something that almost every woman you’ve ever known has done, you haven’t. And in the back of your mind you are worried that you are the one woman in the world that just won’t be able to handle it. Just know that at the end of the day, whatever happens won’t even come close to what your imagination has dreamed up for you. And that precious little baby in your arms will do a lot to make the pain go away.