It seems that, as soon as you announce your pregnancy, people want to know all of your choices. Are you going to find out the sex? What names have you picked out? What are painting the nursery walls? Are you going to have vaginal delivery or c-section? Drugs or no drugs? It’s endless. Worse yet, the people who usually ask just want to take the opportunity to tell you their opinion on the matter. So, not that you asked – but here’s my opinion.
I have birthed four babies. And I’ll admit that I didn’t do too much thinking about childbirth before it happened the first time. I went to the birthing class with my husband and did the funny breathing. [Best tip from that class: When you get ready to push, tighten your abdominal muscles just like you’re doing crunches. It really works, I promise.] I read “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” from cover to cover. But I just didn’t struggle with the choices. I had a healthy pregnancy and I’m not a Hollywood superstar who needs fit childbirth in during a filming hiatus – so I didn’t ever consider a scheduled c-section. Although I’m not a big fan of needles, I never really considered a drug-free birth.
Looking back, much of my laid-back attitude can be attributed to my obstetrician. She rocks. She is only a few years older than I am. She has small children (in fact, she was pregnant with her second son at the same time that I was pregnant with my first). She is not pushy but is frank and honest. The one piece of advice that she gave me before my first was born that I remember to this day: “No one gives you a special award for giving birth without drugs. I will never consciously allow something to happen in that delivery room that will harm you or your child. You don’t even need to decide now. If you feel like you need an epidural or any other pain med, just ask. If you don’t, that’s fine too.” She gave me permission to trust myself, trust her and not feel guilty for asking for drugs.
And that anesthesia was nice. So nice, in fact, that I asked for the same drugs again when my second child was born 14 months later. Everyone knows someone who has a terrible anesthesia story. Don’t listen. Just talk to your doctors, talk to your partner, trust yourself. I don’t begrudge those who forego drugs at all. In fact, I think they are amazing. Much stronger than I am, for sure. It’s just all about making the right choice for you and not judging or allowing yourself to feel judged for your choices.
My first two children were both induced labors and vaginal deliveries. Both were induced because I was at term (41 weeks with my first and 40 weeks with my second) and not dilating at all. Oh, did I mention that my firstborn was 10 pounds, 4 ounces? Bless her heart, my OB tried massaging my perineum to avoid tears but there really wasn’t much she could do. Quite a few stitches closed up my episiotomy. I took the inflatable donut pillow home with me. [Hot tip to new moms with the same ill-placed stitches: sitting on the Boppy nursing pillow is about as comfortable as it gets.]
The second two babies were born by c-section. They’re twins and the one sitting lower in my uterus decided pretty early on that my cervix would be a great place to rest his butt and stretch out. So, scheduled c-section it was. Again, I really just let the circumstances dictate the birth. I didn’t have my heart set on vaginal birth to begin with. Either way was going to be fine. In the interests of full disclosure, my body really likes being pregnant. I carried the twins to 38 weeks (full term for twins), was never on bed rest and still never dilated. At all. Not one centimeter. C-section, more stitches. Just as uncomfortable a recovery as with episiotomy stitches – just in a different place.
All childbirth is amazing – vaginal or caesarian. All moms are heroes. All babies are miracles. For me, I really didn’t have a preference between vaginal delivery and c-section. Neither was particularly comfortable, in different ways. Both had about a week or two recovery time. And the pay-off in each instance was the same. Fat, gorgeous babies.
I would highly recommend taking a tour of your hospital or birthing center a few months before your due date. You can take that opportunity to ask the labor and delivery nurses questions about practices, equipment and facilities. Do they have tubs in the labor/delivery rooms? Many women swear by laboring (or even giving birth) in large tubs of warm water. Do they have big exercise balls available? Often, a gentle, persistent bounce on one of these balls will help move your labor along and relieve some back pressure. Do they allow you to submit and then follow a birth plan? My only advice on this is don’t get your heart set on every detail of your plan – you’ll set yourself up for disappointment. Let the circumstances of your labor unfold and be prepared to make choices that are right for you and your baby – even if it’s a different choice than you expected to make.
If you are considering a midwife-assisted birth, whether at home, in a hospital or at an independent birthing center, I encourage you to do some research. There are many wonderful, trained midwives available across the United States. Their licensing requirements may vary however from state to state. Check that out. Talk to your doctor and others who have used the services of a midwife. Ask your midwife or doctor if they have any recommendations for a doula if you are thinking of looking into doula assistance.
Again, I think the bottom line is to make choices that are best for you and your child. Don’t feel pressured by your conventional family or by your non-conventional friends. Don’t feel guilty for asking for an epidural even though your childbirth class teacher implied that drug-free was absolutely, without a doubt, the “correct” way. Really, she did. I’m not her biggest fan – although she did give me that advice about pushing and crunches. That worked out well so I guess she wasn’t all bad.
Set as favorite
Bookmark
Email This
Comments (0)
Show/Hide CommentsHave Something to Add?
Show/Hide Comment Entry Form
