Womb to Bloom - Maternity & Beyond

I was blessed in that I’ve never had to leave the hospital without taking my newborn home with me.  We cut it a little close on the last one – he rallied to get his weight back up a few days post-C-section so that he could go home with his twin.  Some of my close friends haven’t been so lucky.  They’ve had to leave premature or ill babies in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). The tears and stress were excruciating to watch – I certainly can’t imagine how tough it would be.

The NICU is initially (and, frankly, always) a bit frightening.  Tiny babies and lots of tubes, isolettes and machines.  Lights and beeps.  And stress.  Lots and lots of stress and anxiety.

Parents with NICU babies quickly become friendly with not only their pediatrician or neonatologist but also any specialists called in for their baby.  But the relationships that seem to grow strongest are those with the NICU nurses.  These professionals care for your child day in and day out and want nothing else than to see that baby discharged as soon as possible.

While you are never going to release the tension you feel while your child is in NICU, arming yourself with information is key to your emotional survival and often to your child’s health.  The nurses will give you updates on your baby’s condition if you’ve been gone.  The plan of care will fall to you and the physician though.  The information you seek out, the better.  You will be armed with as much detail as possible when asked to make medical decisions or when you decide to seek additional medical opinions.

Depending on how premature or sick your baby is, you may not be allowed to hold him for a while. Ask the staff what benchmarks you should be looking for in order to snuggle with your little one. Ask the doctors and nurses when and how you can help feed and bathe your baby.  Talk with them about the possibility of nursing and “kangaroo-care” (holding a diapered baby against your bare chest for prolonged skin-to-skin contact). 

If the NICU is far from home, you should ask to speak with a social worker or similar hospital employee about nearby temporary housing like Ronald McDonald House or even a room in the hospital.  While you are discussing those issues, you should also look into what NICU costs will not be covered by your private health insurance or Medicaid.  Go ahead and begin talking with hospital personnel about how to handle those charges.

The hospital probably also hosts a support group for parents of children in the NICU.  Be sure to check that out if you feel it might be helpful.

Grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings and friends will be essential support at this time.  And they will want to see the baby too.  You’ll have to check with your NICU nurses to see what the visiting rules are for non-parents.  Children may be prohibited from visiting due to the greater risk of introducing an infection.

Believe it or not, you and your partner still have your own needs while your infant is in the NICU.  You still need rest and food and time for yourself.  It may be difficult to tear yourself away from that little fighter but you won’t do him much good in an exhausted state.  You may also have other kids who need you and miss you.  Make time for them as well.  If they are old enough, share information and feelings with them when appropriate and encourage them to do the same. 

The roller coaster of the NICU can be exhausting.  Just make sure to ask the right questions and seek the emotional support you will undoubtedly need from your family and friends.  And hopefully it won’t be long before your baby is rosy cheeked and chubby and home.