BEDREST. To the normal, harried, busy mother, it almost sounds fun. Almost. The reality, however, can be quite different, especially for mothers-to-be who already have other small children. The simple fact of being confined to one spot for weeks at a time is an emotionally draining event. You’re bored. You’re uncomfortable. You have to pee a lot. You need to do the laundry. Yes, in a few weeks, you’ll wish you were back on bedrest, after a few nights of 1am, 3am, and 5am feedings, but right now, it’s likely to drive you mad!
For many mothers, bedrest can be a frustrating, or even depressing experience. The lack of the ability to do simple household chores such as laundry and making dinner can be as hard on mom as it is on dad (or other family members) who must step up to the plate and take over mom’s normal duties. No, he’s not folding the towels the right way. He just washed jeans with white shirts. Your three year old is eating popsicles for breakfast and pancakes for dinner. The household is out of CONTROL! As hard as it may be, this is one time it really pays to just let it go; to relax and let someone take care of you! Drink a cup of warm, decaf tea, and curl up with a good magazine while your partner washes the dishes. For once, you’re allowed.
For pregnant moms who are prescribed bedrest, there are several things you can do to help ease the monotony. Here are a few ideas that helped me get through it:
Read all the books you’ve been putting off. Buy books cheaply online at Half.com or borrow from friends. Some libraries have a mail-order service, so check into it at your local library. Mine had a little booklet with a limited selection, but I would order a couple of books a week for myself and a couple for my 3 year old; they would arrive by mail with a pre-stamped return envelope. Having new books around on a regular basis helped break up the monotony.
Write thank you notes. All those shower gifts need to be recognized- you certainly won’t have time once the baby (or babies) comes!
Rent movies. It’s likely you won’t have the time or energy to watch many movies for a while once the baby is born, so now is a great time to catch up on movies. Start a Netflix or Blockbuster online subscription, and rent unlimited movies for a fairly low flat rate. (There’s generally no contract so you can cancel once the baby is born!) If you have never done this, thousands of movies are available online- you set up a ‘queue’ of the movies you’d like to see, and they are shipped to you in that order. They come in a prepaid return envelope, arrive within a couple of days, and the next one is automatically sent upon receipt of a returned movie. Because you can have several out at once with no late fees, they do not need to be returned at the same time. If you have small children, get a few for the kiddies too!
If you don’t have a laptop, borrow one. My brother brought over a laptop so I could surf the web from my bed. Set up a free website that allows you to post pictures of the newest member of the family and write an ongoing blog as well. Trust me, this can save you endless guilt from family members asking for pictures, especially those who live far away. Pictures can be copied directly off the website, allowing family members to pick and choose what they want to save or print for themselves. Set the site up now, so all you need to do is upload the photos after the baby is born. The grandma-crowd loves this! (Just Google ‘free website’ and you’ll get plenty to choose from!)
If you haven’t done it yet, figure out how to use your digital camera and/or video camera. Drag out the instructions, and do it now, while you have time, before the baby arrives! It’s probably a good idea to show dad how to use it as well. Better yet, figure out how to post pictures and video on that website!
Ask your spouse to let you do mundane chores that you can physically do from bed (or the couch if your doctor allows). We lived on a farm and canned vegetables each summer. This is an activity I actually enjoy, so my husband would bring in large bowls of peas to be shelled, or peppers to be chopped, which I could do in a sitting or propped up position. Fold laundry, make grocery lists, plan dinner, pay bills, etc. Doing anything useful can help alleviate mental boredom.
Start a journal, or write a letter to your baby. Describe what stage of development he is in, and how you feel. Tell him how much you look forward to his arrival, and put it away for high school graduation, or a 16th birthday. If you have older children and you have never put together a baby book (come on, you know you haven’t!) now is the time. My oldest now has a spectacular baby book. My twins have a shoe box of pictures.
Learn needlepoint and make a simple project. Craft stores often carry simple, beginner crafts like cross-stitch bibs; crocheted booties or blankets; or simple quilts. It will give you something to do with your hands, a project to concentrate on, and a beautiful keepsake for the baby.
If you will spend time at home alone while you are on bedrest, create a Command Center. Using a lightweight basket or box, stock it with everything you might need- the remote control, a cordless phone, water or other drinks, snacks, books, pens and paper, lotion, etc. This way, you won’t make unnecessary trips in and out of bed while home alone.
Whatever you do, DO NOT spend time watching shows like TLC’s emergency baby shows, special deliveries, etc. You will get scared, you’ll cry, and it’s just a bad idea! Find a good silly comedy or chick flick instead.
Do what you need to do to feel good about yourself, whether that means asking your sister or friend to give you a pedicure (even if you can’t see your toes!) or talk your hubby though a foot massage with oils. Brush your hair, throw on a little mascara, shave your legs, or use your favorite scented lotion if it makes you feel better. (Now that you can probably stand the smell again!) Ask your doctor if warm bubble baths are allowed.
Put on regular clothes if you can; if your doctor allows it, spend part of the day in the living room on the couch instead of 24 hours in the bedroom. I had to get a special OK to attend my own baby shower- I was allowed- reluctantly from the doc, as long as I sat the entire time!
If friends and family want to visit, ask them to come at certain times, or at least call first. There’s nothing worse than company popping in when you haven’t brushed your teeth, have on yesterday’s nightgown, and your hair looks like a rat nest. Feeling like a hag doesn’t necessarily make one the best of company. And trust me, everyone on bedrest has those days! (actually, I still have those days….. )
Remember- it’s for a good cause. It’s probably the last really good sleep you will get for the next 18 or so years. It will be over soon. And it will be worth it.
Show/Hide Comments
Show/Hide Comment Entry Form
