Womb to Bloom - Maternity & Beyond

One hundred percent of my friends who have been on bed rest during a pregnancy for any length of time have said that it stinks. Completely, totally, utterly, absolutely rotten from beginning to end. I don’t think that there is any way or any reason to sugarcoat it. You’re on bed rest. You can’t do much but worry about your baby. And nothing I say here is going to keep you from worrying. But there are some things that you can do to make it just a little less rotten.

When you’re not on bed rest, the idea sounds almost idyllic – you MUST not work, you MUST not clean your house, you MUST not do the grocery shopping, you MUST not chase after your other children and your pets and your husband. After about an hour or so of that notion, you’ll begin to wonder: who is going to do my work!? Who is going to clean my house?! Who is going to do the grocery shopping?! Who is going to chase after my kids, pets and husband?! And what the heck can I do other than sleep and watch Oprah?!

First of all, if your doctor puts you on bed rest (either at home or in the hospital), stay in bed for crying out loud! This is your baby’s health and welfare (as well as your own) we’re talking about. If you’ve had preterm labor or if you’ve been diagnosed with an incompetent cervix, lying in bed will keep pressure off of your cervix and will help keep that baby cooking for a while longer. And every day helps. But talk to your doctor in detail about what her recommendations are. You may be asked to stay in bed almost 24/7. Or you may be advised just to stay off of your feet as much as possible. Or anywhere in between. Whichever your doctor’s recommendation, take it seriously.

So, what to do when stuck in bed for weeks on end? You’ll quickly find out that it’s not the mini-vacation so many assume that it is. Learn to accept offers of help around the house. Learn to ask for help when you need it. Your partner, your friends, your mom, your sister – they will all invariably ask what they can do to help. Ask them to clean the kitchen or do a load of laundry or watch your toddler! Ask your partner to pack a cooler or move a dorm-size fridge next to the bed.

And when you get sick of the TV and have read all of your books, you can fire up your laptop and your wireless internet connection. You can join some message boards to “talk” with other expecting mothers and others on bed rest. You can peruse Womb to Bloom for all kinds of information about childbirth and newborns. You can research preemies – just in case. Or, much to your partner’s chagrin, you can do a little online shopping for those last few baby things you won’t be able to get out and get at the store.

• More computer ideas – Clean up your contacts list and send some emails out to friends you haven’t talked to in a while. You’ve got nothing but time, sister! Why not?
• Ask your health care provider if there are any exercises you can still do while on bed rest.
• Put a LOT of movies in your Netflix queue and start watching!
• Catch up on your photo albums and scrapbooks.
• Learn to knit or crochet. It’s cliché, I know – but can be addictive…
• Give yourself a manicure, a pedicure and a facial.
• Ask your doctor if it is okay to have a massage – then track down a masseuse who will come to your home. Your doctor may actually have some recommendations for you.
• Do crosswords and sudoku puzzles.
• Have someone bring you a regularly rotating stock of trashy celebrity gossip magazines as well as something with more substantive articles like Vanity Fair or the New Yorker.
• Talk on the phone LOTS!
• Invite friends over to hang out and to help out. You can even ask your friends or co-workers to move your baby shower to your room!
• Have date night with your partner. Take a shower or bath, get take-out for dinner and watch a movie together. You’ll feel human again!
• Start your own blog. Write about you, your life, your hobby, your work, your baby, your bed rest, your anything!
• Become addicted to ebay or etsy. Surf and shop for unique items for the baby, the house and yourself for hours. Dangerous to the credit card but too, too fun!
• Write thank you notes for shower gifts or bed rest favors. Boring, but it’s gotta be done. Better now than after the baby is here.
• Download music and/or burn CDs for the hospital and for the nursery. You’ve now got time to make the ultimate lullaby mix.
• Organize your bills and tax records. Yuck, I know. But what better time?
• Research your baby’s family tree. This also can be easily addictive. Arm yourself with some basic information about your and your partner’s immediate families and start searching on the internet’s genealogy websites.

I just can’t think of a more frustrating time than being on strict bed rest. I guess you’ve just got to do your best to keep your eyes on the prize. Bed rest is hard and no fun. It can be emotionally exhausting. Lean on your spouse, your family and your friends for support. Do your best to ask for help. And try, try, try to keep your mind off of the anxiety-causing stuff. Just stay in that bed! You’ll never regret it.