Womb to Bloom - Maternity & Beyond

It’s one of the questions you’ll hear throughout your pregnancy: “Have you thought about names yet?” And if you’re like most expectant moms, you’ll spend most of your free time doing just that. At some point, it’ll occur to you what a huge task you have in front of you. You have the honor of bestowing a name on your child that he’ll have for the rest of his life. It can be difficult to wade through the millions of names out there - not to mention trying to agree on just one name with your partner. Below are some ideas and suggestions to help guide you through this exciting process.

The Family Connection
Not very long ago it was customary to name babies after family members. Americans got away from that practice for a while, but it seems to be making a comeback. Nearly every baby announcement I’ve seen recently describes which family member the baby was named after. Naming your baby after a loved one is a great way to remember a relative who has passed on - or honor someone who’s still a very important part of your life.

“I found out I was pregnant about the time that my grandmother passed away,” remembers Rachel, 28. “We had been so close all of my life, and I was just devastated. I told my husband that if we had a girl, I wanted to give the baby my grandmother’s name - Joy - as a middle name. He thought it was a great idea, and luckily, we did indeed have a daughter. Now our Anna Joy is a daily reminder of my wonderful grandmother, and my grandfather’s face just lights up whenever he says her name.”

Passing on the names of loved ones can be a bit more difficult of you’re crazy about the person - but not her name. Natalie, 32, discovered a great solution to this dilemma. “My husband and I wanted to name our first daughter after both of our mothers. The problem was that we couldn’t picture naming our baby either of their names - Sandra and Jami. So we decided to combine the two names, and after a few tries, we came up with ‘Sammi.’ We love the name, and we love even more that both of our mothers have a little namesake walking around.”

Some expectant parents use family surnames as first or middle names for their children. When Meghan, 29, and her husband had trouble coming up with middle names for their son, they poked through Meghan’s family tree to come up with a unique name that would honor her ancestry. “My maiden name, Butters, was out of the question for obvious reasons, but the more I thought about my mom’s maiden name, Dierks, the more I liked it. I love that our son, Alexander Dierks, has a strong name that also ties him to my mother’s side of the family.”

A Few of Your Favorite Things
Not everyone breaks out their family tree for inspiration. Some people look to their favorite Biblical characters, musicians, artists, or places for great ideas. If you name your child after the place he or she was conceived, however, try to be circumspect about sharing that news as your child gets older. “My parents thought it was hilarious to explain to perfect strangers - like receptionists in the doctor’s office - that my middle name was Hilton because I was conceived in a Chicago Hilton on their way to Mexico,” Sabrina, 29, explains. “Mom would always add, ‘It gives new meaning to the term, ‘layover,’ and then laugh hysterically. People would either react with shock or giggles, but I was mortified every single time.”

If you decide to take a cue from Posh and David Beckham, who reportedly named their first son “Brooklyn” because that’s where he was conceived, try to avoid the pitfalls of Sabrina’s parents. My pal, Savannah, 34, had no idea the real reason behind her name until she was an adult. “My mom and dad always said that they loved the city of Savannah, Georgia, so they decided to name me after their favorite city. It wasn’t until I was well into my twenties that my mom accidentally let something slip one day about me being conceived there. I was surprised, of course, but because I was an adult, I also found it to be quite funny. Go, Mom and Dad!”

Joining the Popular Crowd
If you grew up in the 1980s, you probably knew at least five Jennifers and Jessicas, and you either felt sorry for them or wished you had such a cool name. Similarly, there are two ways of looking at giving your baby a popular name. The good news is that common names ensure that teachers will always pronounce it correctly and peers probably won’t make fun of it.

The bad news is that your child’s head will snap around several times a day when friends, teachers, coaches, and other parents yell “Emily!” Also, because your child is likely to be in the same class or on the same team as others with his name, he may be relegated to “Jacob B.” his entire life to differentiate him from the other three Jacobs.

If you absolutely love a name that’s increasingly popular, however, don’t dismiss it because there will be others with that name everywhere your child goes. Just be sure you’re aware of how popular it is. There are dozens of Internet sites that rank common names and can give you statistics about which names have been popular and for how long. See where your favorite falls. Another great tip is to ask pre-school teachers or coaches of young athletes how many students they know with that name.

“My sister-in-law teaches gymnastics, so she’s around young girls all day,” says Beth, 30. “When we were considering the name ‘Emma’ for our now-two-year-old daughter, I asked her what she thought of the name. She said, ‘I love it - and apparently so does every parent in town. I have three Emmas in my Thursday night class, two in my Monday night class, and another three in my Saturday morning class.’ We ended up naming our daughter Hope.”

Different Strokes
It’s understandable that you want your child to have a name that’s all his own. But think carefully before you bestow a name that will elicit laughter every time he says his name. And if you don’t want your child to spend her entire life correcting people, spell her name the way it sounds. Worse yet, don’t give her a common spelling for an uncommon pronunciation. “Daisy” is not the right spelling if you’ll pronounce your child’s name “Dy-cee.”

Foreign names are popular with parents who want to honor their ancestry, but these can be tricky. My girlfriend named her son Rhys, which is common in the UK, but many people in the U.S. mistakenly pronounce it “Rise” instead of “Reece.” Similarly, don’t expect people to pronounce the Irish name Siobhan (“Shi-vawn”) correctly the first time they see it.

“Creative” spellings seem to be all the rage as well. While you may think it’s neat to name your little girl Klowie, teachers will most likely wonder, “What is wrong with her parents? Why didn’t they just name her ‘Chloe?’”

With more parents opting for unique baby names, most people are used to running into kids with names other than Michael and Elizabeth. Still, incredibly off-the-wall names or spellings can really come back to haunt your child later in life. Can you imagine a potential employer’s reaction to receiving a resume from an applicant named Moxie CrimeFighter (daughter of magician Penn Jillete)? It’s tough enough for people to get a foot in the door professionally, so don’t make it harder on your kids by giving them a name that may cause people to think their resume is a bad joke.

Merging Your Tastes
Many couples run into difficulties when they try to agree on a name. One of you wants to honor Uncle Alvin, while the other wants to pass on a love for painting through the name “Pablo.” When my husband and I were trying to agree on a boy’s, we went round and round and still couldn’t come up with one. We decided to try one last tactic: each of us went through our baby name book and wrote down all of the names that we would consider for a boy - without the other looking at the list. When we were both finished, we exchanged lists, and we discovered that there was one name that appeared on both. Ta da! We had chosen a boy’s name!

Greta, 38, and her husband settled on the name “Joel” for their son because it had special, though very different, significance for each of them. “My husband first suggested Joel because he badly wanted to give our child a name that reflected his strong Christian beliefs. I’m not nearly as religious as he is, so I wasn’t crazy about it at first. But then something hit me like a thunderbolt: singer Billy Joel is my favorite musician of all time, and his music was especially important to me as a teenager when I was going through all of that high school angst. ‘Joel’ was the perfect fit for both of us, and we were ecstatic when we realized that!”

The final piece of advice is to give potential names the “playground test.” A friend of mine gave me this golden suggestion when my husband and I were considering a slightly off-beat name for our daughter. She told us to go to a playground (preferably deserted unless you want the other parents to think you’re insane), and shout the name again and again, as though you were calling your child to you. This helps you determine whether you want to say this name the million times you’ll have to over the years. It helped us realize that we just weren’t crazy about the name after saying it dozens of times. The name we ultimately went with stayed delightful no matter how many times we screamed it at an empty teeter-totter.

General Tips
If you really, really can’t agree on one name by D-Day, take a list of no more than three names (that you’ve both agreed would make good choices) into the delivery room. Once your child is born, you may be better able to determine which name fits.

Consider how easy it will be to make unflattering nicknames out of your child’s given name. Granted, kids can come up with horrible nicknames without the help of an easy-to-manipulate name, but don’t make it easier for them.

Think about how the first and last names flow together. Parents put a lot of thought into how well the first and middle names go together, but unless you’re in trouble (“Kathleen Marie, get over here!”) most kids aren’t called by their first and middle names very often.

Your child will say her first and last names together much more often, so be sure they complement each other. Two one-syllable names together may sound harsh - “Tess Grant,” as opposed to “Theresa Grant.” Also, be wary of names that run into each other. If your son is named Luke, and your last name is Wills, some people may hear it as “Lou Quills.”

More and more parents are choosing to keep their chosen name or names under wraps until the baby is born. While this can be very frustrating for friends and family members, it’s something I highly recommend. No matter how run-of-the-mill your choice is, many people will have something negative to say about it.

A friend will have a bad association because it’s the name of the first boy who broke her heart. Or your sister will tell you that the name you’ve chosen is way too popular, so you should really consider something else. But when you wait until your baby is born to reveal the name, most people know better than to comment on it. After all, now it belongs to an actual little person!