Womb to Bloom - Maternity & Beyond

After the life changing moment when I first held my newborn son in my arms, exhaustion set in. Twelve hours of labor had passed quickly. Once the excitement of delivery had died down and the baby was resting safely against me, the adrenaline high I had been riding came to an end. I wanted desperately to sleep, but I just couldn't let go of my little guy. As I finally drifted off to sleep, the proud papa took over snuggling duties, just as reluctant to send our baby to the nursery as I was.

Sleep in a hospital is short and unsatisfying. Between mommy check-ups, temperature checks, nursings, diaper changes, baby check-ups, newborn tests and visitors, those first few days of my baby's life were a blur to me. Night and day blended together in a sort of rhythm of nursing, snuggling, and dozing. But I didn't care. At long last, our little baby was finally here. He was worth the sleepless days and nights.

Then suddenly, we were released to take him home. We dressed him in his cute little layette, with its arms and legs a bit too long. We tucked him safely into his car carrier, complete with a watchful nurse to ensure that we had indeed strapped him in correctly. Then we were wheeled to the hospital entrance where our car waited for the other half of its new car seat booster.

I sat in the back for what would be a forty minute drive home, marveling again at the perfect little human being we had brought into the world. He was so incredibly tiny! But the impact he had already made on us was immense. It takes a lot to make my husband cry. I will never forget the way he looked when our little baby took his first breath and made his presence known, or when he had held him for the very first time. Relief, pride and overwhelming joy had brought tears to his eyes that day, and mine as well.

My husband and I said nothing those first few minutes in the car. We shared a few goofy-happy looks in the rearview mirror, until the baby began to cry. And I do mean cry. I felt almost frantic. How was I to comfort him? Even though every part of my heart and soul yearned to, I couldn't take him out of the car seat to hold him. Now we began to exchange worried looks as the baby's crying escalated. Helpless, all I could do was stroke his cheek and offer a pacifier, a far cry from what he wanted.

My husband, reluctant to speed with a newborn in the car, nervously accelerated as we crossed through town. “Just a few more minutes,” became his mantra on the car ride home. “We're almost home.” For forty minutes.

The baby continued to scream, and soon I too was in tears. At last we pulled into our garage and hastily unpacked the baby. With shaking hands I cradled him close, crooning and rocking as we made our way into the house. His screaming decreased in decibel to a more normal sounding cry as soon as he realized that he was in my arms. At that point, the only thing I knew to do was to nurse him.

In the quiet interlude that followed, interrupted only by the soft suckling sounds my baby made, I looked up at my husband in terror. He knelt beside me and held my hand.

“What's wrong?” he asked.

“I can't believe they let us leave the hospital with a newborn baby.”

He smiled at me and kissed me tenderly. “Yeah.” he said. “What were they thinking?”