I don’t know who came up with the phrase “sleeping like a baby,” but it was obviously someone who had never been around babies much. Anyone who has cared for an infant knows that getting them to sleep when they’re supposed to can be a maddening experience. The sound of a crying baby at 3:00 a.m., after you just fed him at 2:00 a.m., is enough to make any parent break down and cry right along with the baby.
If you’re at your wits end with a baby who has sleeping problems, you’re not alone. It’s a phase most parents go through with at least one child. Unfortunately for the rest of us, there are those lucky few who end up with a brood of perfect snoozers, but thankfully they’re few and far between. Most of us experience a frustration period with baby “sleep training.” That period may last a few weeks, a few months, or even a lot of months, but no matter how long it lasts, it feels like an eternity.
You’re probably wondering what you can do to stop the insanity. You need a plan, and you need it now. Well, if you’re hoping this article has an easy answer, you’re in for a disappointment. I personally don’t think there is just one answer. Every baby is different, and so is every parent. You have to find the plan that works for you, not the plan that worked for your mother, your neighbor, or even for your pediatrician. Although all of those people do have great advice that you should listen to and apply in a way that best suits you and your baby.
You can also get a lot of good information and ideas from books on the topic. Your pediatrician might even be able to recommend a parenting class, which is great if you learn better one-on-one. When you start looking into sleep theories, you’ll find an overwhelming amount of information that basically boils down to one tough choice. You either let the baby cry, or you don’t. It’s that simple. When your baby cries instead of sleeping, you really just have two choices.
Letting the Baby Cry
You’ll want to get good, solid information on this method before you try it. No one advocates letting a baby cry when he truly needs something. You just ignore the cries that baby uses to get you to pick him up – easier said than done! I used this method with my first child, after attending a preparation for parenting class, and it worked great for him. I stood by the door, biting my lip and agonizing over every minute he cried, but it really wasn’t a very long time. He cried for ten or fifteen minutes a few nights in a row, but went right to sleep every night after that. He’s been a great sleeper ever since. However, I’ve heard other moms say that their babies cried much longer and refused to go to sleep on their own. That’s why I say that not every method works for every baby.
Not Letting the Baby Cry
Some people can’t deal with the heart-wrenching “cry it out” process, or they disagree with the philosophy of letting a baby cry without responding. If you’re one of those people, then you have to decide whether or not you want baby to sleep in your bed. If so, then you’re decision is easy. Just remember that babies who share the parents’ bed turn into toddlers, and even older children, who still sleep with mom and dad. Some people are fine with that, and some end up wishing they had been more firm about teaching the baby to stay in her own bed.
If the family bed isn’t for you, you can try patting or rocking her to sleep. The only problem with that is that you usually end up patting or rocking her every time she wakes up in the night. I did this with my second child, and I thought I was going to lose my mind patting him to sleep when I was so tired I couldn’t see straight. Little eyes take an eternity to close when you stand and stare at them, willing them hurry up and close already! That’s why I ended up just bringing him to bed. Just for the record, he’s two now and still wakes up in the middle of the night to come to my bed.
Whatever you decide to do, the most important thing to remember is that this unbelievably frustrating phase will end one way or another. Someday you’ll look back and wonder what the big deal was. Until then, just take it one day at a time, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. We all need a little help every now and then, especially when screaming babies are involved.
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