Womb to Bloom - Maternity & Beyond

I have two little sisters who are significantly younger than I am. My older sister and I were their go-to babysitters from the very first, and I felt like I had significant experience caring for babies. When I found out that I was expecting twins, I thought it would be difficult, but that I would be able to handle it fairly well. After all, I had so much experience with my little sisters.

Let me just tell you that nothing prepares you for the experience of caring for twins. Nothing! So, you might ask, why should you read this article? Well, misery loves company, and it might be nice to know that you are not the only one who will have difficulty managing two newborns. It also might be nice to know that you will get through it; things do get better. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow, but someday in the future things will get better.

Once of the best things my husband and I did for ourselves was get as much help as we could. We were lucky in that my mom and my mother-in-law both live nearby and were willing and able to help out a lot. We also have other family members in town who offered to come, and we did not turn down a single bit of help. I am used to doing things for myself and not depending on my friends and family for help, but having twins is an extreme situation. You will need as much help as you can get.

We were also lucky in that we were able to hire a nanny to come one day a week. Tuesdays were my favorite day, and Karen was my absolute, hands-down, favorite person in the entire universe. Having a nanny, even one day a week, was expensive. We had to make sacrifices to afford her, but she was worth every penny.

When I started feeling better after the delivery, I started going out. I didn’t care where I went. I just went and didn’t come back until it was time for Karen to leave. One day I went to a book store, bought a book, plopped down in a chair, and read until it was time to go home.

The best thing about having a nanny is that you don’t have to feel guilty about being gone for a long time or about coming home and finding a clean kitchen and the laundry folded. Sometimes you don’t want to impose on family members and so don’t get the quality time for yourself that you really do need as a new twin mom. 

Besides getting help, the next best thing we did was put our babies on a schedule as early as we could. I’m not sure I could have made it through the first three months if we hadn’t tried to schedule the babies as best as we could instead of letting them eat and sleep on demand.

Another thing we did was split the night up into two shifts. I slept from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m., and my husband slept from 2 a.m. to 7. It didn’t always work as cleanly as that, but we tended to get at least five hours of uninterrupted sleep at night.

Because of all the effort we made at getting the girls on a schedule, they started waking up only once at two months. Then by three months, they stopped waking up in the middle of the night and started waking up in between 5 and 7 a.m. It was not easy getting the girls on the same schedule, but all our efforts were worth it the first morning I woke to daylight instead of their cries.

During my twins’ first three months, I thought our struggles would be never ending. I called my sister-in-law (also a twin mom) and begged her for reassurance that it would get better. She told me over and over that it would. She told me it was ok to be a little unhappy during this time.

It’s ok not to want to get up in the middle of the night for the third time and soothe a crying baby. It’s ok because it will pass. She was right; it did. We’re all still alive and (mostly) thriving, but not without a lot of work and a lot of tears(mine and the babies’ and perhaps even my husband’s). So don’t feel bad if you are having a hard time or think you might have a hard time when your twins come. Everyone struggles, but we do the best we can and get through it.